Gundam: The Wind That Blows Through Space

Chapter 19 The Abyss of Despair and the Diva of Hope ([-])
The first round of material collection had to end in a hurry. No one could continue to work under such tremendous pressure and pretend that nothing happened. After returning to the Archangel, Mu had no choice but to play the role of a psychological masseur again. It is good to talk about it to get everyone to agree to continue the homework the next day.

As the last working boat to return to the ship, Siegfried was about to open the hatch after stopping. The three of them had no communication on the way back. Although it was caused by him alone, it was not a pleasant thing after all.

"I'm sorry." Just before the hatch opened, Bucky Lulu seized the last gap and finally said the three words that Siegfried wanted to hear.

"Even now, you don't need to apologize to me, Lieutenant. Maybe my point of view is a bit extreme. There is nothing wrong with the soldiers who carry out the orders. It's just that outside of the orders, first of all, you should be a real person with the same emotions as us. Talent is right."

"I just"

"Everything will only be based on orders. Such a qualified and excellent soldier is just a killing machine without emotion. I will go back first."

Just when Bucky Lulu wanted to refute something, Siegfried turned his back to the two of them, habitually propped up the corners of his mouth, and without turning his head, he simply said, "I forgive you, Second Lieutenant."

When passing by the restaurant, many civilians, including Kira, Sai, Mili, and most of the joint soldiers belonging to the Archangel, were folding colorful paper flowers. Fei just took one look and left.

After returning to the room, Cagalli's eyes dodged a little, and Siegfried just lay back on the bed in silence, just like when the two of them boarded the Archangel for the first time.

"Hello, hello, embarrassment, embarrassment."

Hello on the ground didn't know which line had a problem. After shouting a few words inexplicably, he almost jumped out of the room. The atmosphere, once again chose to take the initiative.

"Why don't you go?"

"Origami flowers? What's the point of participating! If those civilians can be understood as human empathy, isn't it a little too hypocritical for those coalition soldiers to participate in it? They are the ones who dropped the nuclear bomb, and they are the ones who are pretending to mourn now, This behavior makes no sense."

"But that's not the same group of people."

"They're all Union soldiers."

"Siegfried!!!"

Kajiali, who was still in a low mood, was completely angered. She knelt on one knee beside Siegfried's bed, and grabbed the young man in front of her who seemed to be a little strange for some reason.

"Why can't you look forward, why do you stubbornly think that the past is a tragedy and the future will also be a tragedy, you are an adjuster, a MS pilot, why don't you dare to fight for the future you want!!!"

Every word the girl said was like a heavy hammer, constantly hitting Siegfried's heart.During this journey, as the relationship with Cagalli got closer, Siegfried felt more and more despicable.Is Cagalli's sincerity wrong?Is there anything wrong with the innocence of the little girl in the hotel?Is it wrong for the Archangel and his party to want to live?

Maybe there is nothing wrong, from the beginning to the end, Siegfried kept telling himself, 'We have to wait for Hilde to come back to find him, as long as Hilde comes back, everything will be fine. 'He doesn't want to accept these feelings that don't seem real to him, no matter how good the relationship is, he always has to leave.

"I can't change anything. I'm not like you. I don't want a damn future."

'Is it true that I can't save that escape boat? After Artemis, for many nights, Siegfried would be awakened by that familiar picture. Under the gunpoint of the duel, the girl's innocent smile finally disappeared into the atmosphere with a burst of fire, so why did he
"I'm afraid. I'm afraid to fight."

Yes, in fact, from the moment when he almost died under Lao's hands on the GINN for the first time, Siegfried had a shadow on the battle. The boy kept hiding it very well, and even deceived himself that he was used to it all.Even with more than three years of training and Harrow's help, and gaining the upper hand in the battle against G, there will still be countless battles in the future.

For example, in the battle of the Eighth Fleet's annihilation, if he insisted on saving the escape boat and fighting so close to the gravitational circle, once the GINN was dragged down by gravity, it would be just a GINN, not a Strike Gundam, Siegfried didn't even have to think about whether he had a chance to survive, it was completely inevitable.

If Kira became more and more confused with the battle, and finally understood what he could do and what he wanted to do under the enlightenment of Lux, then Hilde's promise was like leaving a mark on Siegfried's heart. A gap.Every time he tried to accumulate some courage and hope, he would lose it in this gap. While the word 'go home' supported Siegfried to persevere, it also isolated him from the world.

Tears rolled down the bed drop by drop, no matter how hard the young man tried this time, he couldn't prop up the corner of his mouth with his fingers.Are you timid?He just wanted to go home, and he wanted to go home alive. Three years of training could not make him adapt to fighting in the first place. Rather than hating Bucky Lulu, it was more like an escape, but this kind of escape is shameful. But the idea of ​​"just in case it's useful", with Bucky Lulu's apology and Kagali's questioning, can no longer be a reason to support Siegfried's fight.

"Don't look at me. Show me some respect."

The unspoken words were swallowed back by Siegfried along with the impact on his chest. Kagalli's style was always so straightforward and non-thinking, she pressed Siegfried on her shoulder with one hand, and A hand gently touched the boy's head.

"I'm so stupid. I'm afraid you'll say it. What are you doing all this time holding back? You're such an idiot."

Accompanied by Kagalli's strange 'comfort', Siegfried once again felt that he had touched the 'reality' of this world. With his mood gradually calming down, the boy came up with a thought that he had never thought about for no reason, 'If , not going back.'

The next day, with the "Flowers of Sorrow" scattered all over the gravel belt, everyone on the Archangel calmed down and started the task of collecting supplies again. Siegfried continued to carry the card as if nothing had happened. Carrie and Bucky Lulu also started working as independent search teams.

"You are a little different." Cutting large pieces of solid water is too simple for Siegfried who can drive a mobile suit, but in the process of constantly cooperating with the operation, Bucky Lulu suddenly appeared out of nowhere A sentence that made the two of them a little inexplicable.

"Is it different? Oh yes, I didn't take a shower last night. After all, it's still in the period of material control."

"Hey, we are wearing space suits, we won't smell if you don't wash them for a month!!"

Looking at the tacit quarrel between the boys and girls in front of her, Bucky Lulu recalled herself when she was young. At that time, she was proud to wear this military uniform. At that time, she firmly believed that the Earth Alliance was the party of justice. Until Facing the crimes committed by the joint yesterday, if it weren't for Siegfried's persecution, she might never be able to think about whether what she firmly believes must be justice.

With the efforts of everyone, the progress of the work is constantly accelerating. Not only daily supplies, but even military ammunition can be collected.In fact, it is everyone's hard work, but what is more realistic is that everyone wants to leave this hellish gravel belt as soon as possible.

Just when Siegfried brought Bucky Lulu, whose relationship had been greatly eased, and Kagalli, whose relationship had become more and more blurred, back to Ganaku in the last group, he found that everyone had put down their work and was gathering around Whispering about something in front of an escape pod.

As the only person on the scene who knows what's inside, it's okay to say that he's not interested in taking a look.So in the exclamation of Bucky Lulu, "You really know how to pick things up, Kira", Siegfried threw Hello out and let it fly back to his hand, while bringing the equally curious Kagalli I intend to witness the woman who will stand at the 'top of the food chain' in this world in the future.

"Hello, hello, Lux."

Accompanied by the familiar electronic sound, a pink ball flew out of the escape pod first.Seeing this scene, even the most casual Siegfried couldn't help but straighten his body. After all, eating melons still requires a correct attitude.

"Thank you, everyone, for your hard work."

The voice that can be called "the sound of nature" fell on everyone's hearts. A pink figure was like an unfolding picture scroll from the escape cabin, and slowly passed before everyone's eyes. Seeing this scene, Siegfried only thought of why The same is floating, the one over here can float so gracefully, while the one next to him can knock himself half to death every time.

But what he never expected was that before he saw the famous scene of Lacus and Kira's first intimate contact, the first thing the audience reacted to was Harrow in his hand.

"Hello, hello, trash, trash."

"Hello, hello, hit, hit."

The black Harrow flew up against the pink Harrow like a cannonball, and immediately there was no intention of letting the opponent go, a posture of chasing after the opponent and never giving up.

Siegfried covered his face in pain. At this moment, he only had a sense of death of "his own dog was halfway out for a walk, and suddenly went to kick someone else's dog".

When everyone's attention in Gnaku was attracted by the war between the two balls, only Kira noticed that the pink girl in front of her seemed to be a little out of balance, so she couldn't help stretching out her hand.

"Ah, ah, ah, isn't this the .ZAFT ship?"

Just now he struggled to grab his own 'running dog'. In front of so many people, Siegfried restrained the urge to fly, and threw Hello to Kagalli to signal the other party to be optimistic and don't do it again. Let go, and when I turned around, I found Lacus Klein resting his chin on one hand, uttering a series of onomatopoeia with unknown meaning, and that too cute question.

(End of this chapter)