pamper her

Chapter 30 Ayan
Li Mianmian's nose was sore, and he was so overwhelmed by the last sentence that he couldn't make a sound for a long time.

But then she realized that the "want" he said didn't mean the ambiguous meaning in her fantasy, so she gradually calmed down again.

"Do you know the concept of half a year?" She didn't even call out to her brother, her tone was very calm, "The days we stayed together would not add up to more than two years—even counting my sophomore year years. But the truth is, you left when I was a sophomore in high school."

Gu Yanci did not speak.

He forgot to think about it.

In fact, for him, the separation between Li Mianmian and him wasn't that long, nor was it that thorough.

When Li Mianmian was in his third year of high school, it wasn't true that he hadn't seen her for a year.

Occasionally when KTV is not busy, or when he is on vacation, he will pick her up secretly.

Gu Yanci knew that boys in high school would pretend to be trash in their minds, so ever since Makinsey's incident happened, he has been not at ease.

He had promised to pick her up every day before, but in the end he didn't come true, but at least he would visit once in a while.

So he found that he seemed to think too much of himself.

Li Mianmian never had to rely on him, without him, she could still live well.

She just didn't get used to it in the first few days, that's why she gave him the illusion that she especially needed him.

But in fact, she later got along very well with her parents, younger brother, and classmates.

In the days without him to pick him up, Li Mianmian never went home alone.

She is very popular, although sometimes she only goes home with Nan Shengsheng, but most of the time she is accompanied by a large group of people other than Nan Shengsheng. Be happier when you are together.

Gu Yanci knew that he might have a generation gap with her.

Others say that there is a three-year generation gap. The age gap between them is two years, and psychologically it may be several times that of two years.

There are too many generation gaps to count.

Li Mianmian always said that he took care of more than his father, and Gu Yanci reflected on himself, and occasionally felt that he was very annoying.

But he just couldn't help it.

As long as he saw her being aggrieved a little, he would think of the first time he met the little girl like a frightened stray cat, shivering and hiding behind Lan Qingwan, looking at him with timid eyes.

Thinking of her sharing the cake for herself, she didn't dare to get too close to him, and held the cake in front of him in a very funny posture.

Thinking of her conflict with Li Yan, she cried and said that she shouldn't show up.

I thought of her crying and convulsing in my arms; I remembered that she was afraid of thunder and hid behind the cabinet and trembled; I remembered that she was squatting alone in the classroom when she came to be my aunt, and her expression seemed to feel that the sky was about to collapse.

Then he thought of himself.

After witnessing his father beating his mother violently for the first time, he hid behind the cabinet and trembled just like Li Mianmian once did.

Want to cry, but too scared to cry.

He also tried to resist, grew up a little bit, and when he saw his father's domestic violence, he held the knife tremblingly, and instead of cutting his father, he scratched his mother.

Just relying on oneself to resist is tantamount to hitting a stone with a pebble, it is indeed too difficult.

At that time, he also thought about who could help him.

Later, when he was ten years old, he had conflicts with his classmates. The two fought, and he beat them to the point of bleeding. His mother apologized and lost money in the past.

That time he was even more terrified than when he witnessed his father's domestic violence.

Because he feels that he is very similar to his father.

He remembered that Gu Yun had said countless times that he was Gu Yun's seed, and Gu Yun's blood flowed from his body.

Sooner or later...he will become the same as Gu Yun.

So he loathed all his impulses and desires more and more.

He began to learn to be patient, to endure desperately, the more angry he was, the more he had to laugh and speak calmly and slowly; the more he wanted something, the more he had to control himself and prevent himself from getting that thing.

He obviously likes sweets very much, but he insists on brainwashing himself and never touches any sweets, causing everyone around him to think that he really hates sweets.

Even including some habitual small movements and mantras, as long as they are mentioned, he will try his best to correct them.

He hates all emotions, emotions, and hobbies that cannot be controlled by reason.

What he hates the most is the half of Gu Yun's blood on his body.

The words he said when facing Gu Yun were not angry words.

He really wanted to drain the part of his blood that belonged to Gu Yun, just like what Li Mianmian said, he also felt that he should not appear in this world.

He really tried to do it.

But then his mother fell ill, and he no longer dared to think about these things.

In this world, there are many things that are far more difficult than dying.

At that time, the only ones who took the initiative to lend a helping hand and were willing to give him some comfort were Lan Qingwan and his wife.

So he wanted to give these back to Li Mianmian.

He knew that he seemed to have intervened too much, and he couldn't grasp the speed well.

But it's hard to control.

Because he always sees his own shadow in Li Mianmian, and he can't help but want to protect her, cover her inside like a glass cover, so that she won't be like he used to be, downcast and helpless Depend on.

This was probably the only thing that he couldn't control with reason.

It wasn't until he saw that she was doing well that he made up his mind to try to let go.

Try to find the rational self who is not controlled by any emotions.

It's true that Li Mianmian has had no contact with him for such a long time. It is really easy for him to deliberately reduce his own existence.

But he just stripped himself from her life, but didn't strip her from his own.

Li Mianmian is just like the self in his fantasy.

The self who was rescued by someone who extended a helping hand at the beginning, lived a happy and complete life.

He often goes to see how his "self" is doing.

Her circle of friends is not particularly rich, and she never posts any photos, but she still shares something interesting every time.

Sometimes I go shopping and eating with my friends, and sometimes I go out with my family to travel and play.

Compared with her circle of friends, Lan Qingwan's content is more colorful.

Not only photos, but also many videos.

Gu Yanci kept these photos and videos, and when he had nothing to do, he dug them out and took a look, just like watching a dream.

When he mentions Li Mianmian to others, he often has unconscious pride and pride, as if this dream was created by himself.

So Li Mianmian hasn't changed much in his eyes, even though they have been separated for more than half a year, he can still recognize him at a glance.

After a distance of more than half a year, he and Li Mianmian still spoke in the same familiar tone, without showing any unfamiliarity.

But he forgot that Li Mianmian's feelings were different from his own.

The little girl has grown up, she looks generous and beautiful, she looks better than in the photo, and her personality has changed a lot.

He was absent from the time when she was growing the fastest, and perhaps in her eyes, he was similar to that kind of obscene brother Hao Yun who wanted to add her on WeChat for no reason.

Or even more annoying than Hao Yun.

At any rate, Hao Yun didn't preach to her like his father did.

His dream was no longer his.

She is herself, living in two completely different worlds from him.

"Then you..." Gu Yanci smiled and said softly, "If you encounter any problems in the future, brother can help you, so you can come to me anytime."

——He wanted to try to keep a little distance, at least not to be so annoying.

In Li Mianmian's ears, it almost meant saying goodbye to her.

After a few seconds of silence, she tentatively asked, "Do you have anything else to do?"

Gu Yanci didn't know why she suddenly brought the topic here.

Thinking that this might be a tactful way to get him to leave quickly, she nodded and said with a smile, "Yes, there is something wrong."

"Oh." Li Mianmian wasn't very happy, and didn't dare to be too obvious, so she looked down at her phone and said nonchalantly, "Then you go, my roommate is also urging me."

Gu Yanci felt tightness in his chest.

—Listen to the tone in which he was speaking!Sure enough, it was born!It used to hurt in vain!
"alright."

He stood up straight and planned to leave, but he couldn't help worrying habitually: "Do you know how to get out? The structure of this building is quite complicated."

Li Mianmian glanced at him, and muttered: "I'm not a fool, don't you know if I went back the same way?"

"..."

"I'm already 19 years old." She specially emphasized her age, "Can you stop treating me like a child?"

"..."

For the first time, Gu Yanci showed that kind of patient smile in front of her: "Okay, then go out by yourself."

After speaking, he turned his head and left.

Li Mianmian: "..."

What are you doing!
He is also angry!
Does he have the nerve to be angry!

I haven't seen you for more than half a year!When we met, it was as if nothing had happened!
Is this man really made of wood? !

Li Mianmian was sulking for a long time lying on the railing, and finally recovered, and slowly took the elevator downstairs.

As a result, as soon as she walked out of the lobby on the first floor, she saw Gu Yanci standing under the shade of a tree not far away, leaning there to play with her mobile phone, and looking up here from time to time.

The two met their gazes, and she couldn't hide even if she wanted to, so she had to walk over there.

"Are you waiting here?" she asked.

"No." Gu Yanci said, "Stand around for a while."

Li Mianmian stared at him for a while, then suddenly realized: "Are you afraid that I will get lost, so you stand here and wait for me to come out?"

Gu Yanci did not answer.

"You..." Li Mianmian sighed, "Why are you so coquettish?"

"..." Gu Yanci frowned, "Why did you talk to me?"

"I do the same with others." Li Mianmian said intentionally, "Could it be that I still have to say respectful words to you like an elder?"

"..."

Gu Yanci felt that if he stayed with her any longer, he might be pissed off, so he put away his phone and wanted to leave.

"Gu Yanci." Li Mianmian called to stop him, "You are two years older than me, and you are considered the same age. Can we relax a little bit when we talk? Just like ordinary friends."

"...Ordinary friend?" Gu Yanci turned his head in disbelief, "I'm just an ordinary friend?"

"Then...then what do you want to do?"

Li Mianmian rubbed her neck, secretly cheered herself up in her heart, and said with a stiff neck, "You really can't treat yourself as my own brother, we are not related by blood."

"Oh, that's right." Gu Yanci sneered, "So now you don't even call me brother, and you open your mouth to say my full name, right?"

"That……"

Li Mianmian felt that she could not hold on any longer.

She had never seen Gu Yanci like this before, and she felt inexplicably fuzzy.

But no matter what, she had to completely get rid of Gu Yanci's bad habit of treating herself as her own sister.

"If you don't think being called by your full name is too close..."

An absurd idea popped into Li Mianmian's mind, and before he had considered it carefully, he blurted out: "I'm sure, I don't call my friends by their full names."

"Oh?" Gu Yanci looked at her leisurely, "Then what do you all call?"

"I...that..."

Anyway, they have already said it out, Li Mianmian's heart thumped, took a deep breath and said, "...Ayan."

(End of this chapter)