Rekindle 2003

Chapter 66 My Fate Is Up to Me (3) - Enlightenment by Facing the Wall
Tang Qianying packed her things, stood over and tilted her head to look at it for a while, and said, "The meaning is strong enough, but the charm is always weird."

Qing Yun nodded in agreement, and wrote it twice, but it still didn't work.

"Or, it's over?"

Zhuo Lang felt that it was a waste of time.

He couldn't see any difference at all.

Qin Manman was not happy anymore, "No! If you want to do it, you must do your best!"

"Fifth brother, I can't waste your hard work." Qing Yun stretched, looking at Nezha on the wall and continued to be in a daze.

Zhuo Lang shrugged helplessly.

no way.

Obviously, Qin Manman understands him better than these brothers.

After dazed for a while, Qing Yun turned to look at the students behind him, "Go back first, I will be alone for a while, I need to find a feeling."

"They go back, I will accompany you." Qin Manman immediately stood by his side.

Tang Qianying bit her lip, "Xiao Yunzi, sister also stays with you."

Qing Yun shook his head and smiled, "I can't write anything if you are here."

Qin Manman was stunned when he heard the words.

Everyone who was packing their things also looked puzzled.

But Tang Qianying seemed to understand something, she smiled and retreated.

Seeing such a movement out of the corner of his eye, Qin Manman felt a little uncomfortable.

What do you mean?
You know him better than I do!

Looking at Qin Manman's resentful eyes, Qing Yun also couldn't laugh or cry, "There is a bit of sadness and indignation in this word, I don't feel this way when you are by my side."

Qin Manman smiled like a flower when he heard the words.

Count you acquainted!

Didn't bring the word 'we'!

But... then she frowned.

Zhuo Lang stroked his chin and clicked his tongue, "If this is the case, youngest, if you want to be sad and angry, I have a way."

"What can I do? Say it!"

Qin Manman's tone was very anxious.

Although she understood what Qing Yun meant, he felt that the world was happy with her by his side.

However, she didn't want him to fall into that state of mind again.

If you have to rely on revisiting your memory to write those words.

She would rather Qing Yun finished writing.

She once put herself into Qingyun's situation, imagining his past encounters, and the feeling of not being able to see a little light in the dark made her cry all night.

This was also the reason why she refused to kill Tang Qianying.

Whether it's reasoning or Qingyun's feelings, she can't kill her at this time.

So when Zhuo Lang suggested that there was another way, she cared more than anyone else.

Zhuo Lang was taken aback by Qin Manman who was so anxious, he scratched his head,
"That... I mean, why don't you and Sister Ying shout 'Lao Zi Shu Dao Shan' together?"

Everyone burst into laughter.

This……

I'm afraid it's not just grief and indignation, but also courage will be frightened.

Qin Manman couldn't laugh or cry when he heard the words, but he looked at Qingyun with green eyes.

Ha ha!

Everyone knows Sima Zhaozhi's heart, right?

Zhuo Lang also realized that something was wrong, so he quickly added, "One is a girlfriend and the other is a sister. Doesn't the youngest have the charm of grief and anger?"

Tang Qianying held a large compass in her hand, and gave him a blank look, "Bad idea!"

After finishing speaking, he pulled Qin Manman and left, "Let's go! He has already walked out, it's all right."

Qin Manman snorted inwardly, of course it's all right.

After such a memory, I will probably think of you again in the end!

The scheming frog!

However, she did not stop.

Since he wants to do it perfectly, let him do it.

As for the latter, just clean up later!
When the crowd dispersed, Qing Yun simply sat on the ground, staring at the paintings on the wall with his head in a daze.

A generation has the memory of a generation.

Regarding Nezha, the deepest memory of his generation is not Nezha, the devil boy who came to the world.

But Qingyun has a deeper sympathy for the devil boy Nezha. When it was released, he was a man in his 30s, crying in the movie theater.

Before going to school, he was not liked by others just like Nezha, the devil boy who came to the world.

The devil boy Nezha wants to play with the local children. The children have no prejudice against him, but the children's parents call him a monster.

So does he.

He was scolded as a child without parents, and the children were not allowed to play with him.

The devil boy Nezha went to catch the monsters and wanted to do justice for the heavens, but they framed that all the bad things were done by Nezha. On the beach, they beat him with wooden sticks indiscriminately.

So does he.

At the age of 6, he caught a snake that had slipped into a pigsty, but was said to be the one who threw the snake in, and all mischievous things were pinned on him.

When he went to school, he became a "child of other people's family" because of his talent. In the village, his word of mouth changed immediately.

All parents of young children let their children play with him.

Regarding "Nezha Navigating the Sea", Qing Yun's most impressive scene is not the scene where Nezha troubles the East China Sea, cramps the dragon's tendons, and beats the third prince of the Dragon King. When the sword kills itself.

On the one hand, his father forced him to die, and on the other hand, the Dragon King asked him to take his own life. At that time, Nezha was only 7 years old. It was the most fearful time in his life. No one stood by his side. Grief and indignation.

But no matter how frightened and fearful he is, Nezha still chooses to be a hero and bear all this by himself.

He pointed to the Dragon King and said, "Listen, old demon dragon, I will do everything on my own, and I won't allow you to harm the common people!"

He looked back at his father again, and said the tear-jerking words: "Daddy! I will return your flesh and blood to you, and I won't implicate you!"

In that generation, many children were seen crying by Nezha's flesh and bones.

Why is this happening?

Because in the beating and scolding of the parents, in the education of the parents, we love and hate them.

And you were born by them, they are kind to you, and they can't hate your parents, so all you want is to return your body to them, and you will never owe them anything.

This is a resistance to patriarchy, and it is also the strongest flame in the hearts of children in the rebellious period.

At that time, the little friends who were sitting in other people’s yards watching cartoons were crying like hell, but Qing Yun smiled while watching them.

You still have your parents beating and scolding.

And me?

That night, Qingyun hid in bed alone, crying silently.

At that time, he desperately wanted to find his biological parents, so he made a detailed plan for this, and set off as soon as he had saved enough money.

Do nothing else, just throw your report card in front of them, let them see how outstanding the doll they abandoned back then is now.

However, when he saved enough money a year later, he didn't want to go looking for it.

There is no need.

I don't know which novel in school or which TV series in the mail room taught him a truth.

It is better to live than to support.

In fact, looking at it from another angle, his biological father and biological mother were deliverymen who sent him to his grandfather who regarded him as his grandson and son.

Having figured everything out, he threw the clues left by his parents into the firewood and burned them to ashes.

At that time, Qingyun's mind was peaceful and peaceful.

The government units in the county always come to organize veterans to go out for a walk and have a look.

Grandpa always said, I have been a soldier all my life, where have I not been?

I have been abroad before, and I didn’t need a passport back then.

His English, the enlightenment is his grandfather, and the enlightenment book is a simple mimeograph book.

"You Al kill Rand annoyed! You are surrounded now!

Dongte Ankerte! Don't act!

Shout out! Hands up!

Kill the egg Delqueri! Surrender quickly! "

Grandpa asked Qing Yun to memorize this passage by heart, saying that it will be useful sooner or later.

After studying in the county junior high school for half a year, he laughed at his grandfather, now there is no need to fight, and there is no need to memorize those.

Grandpa didn't listen, always saying that imperialism never dies.

As a descendant of the Qing family, he must be prepared to go to the battlefield.

At that time, Qing Yun, who had seen the world in the county, could not laugh or cry.

The only idea is to rely on his own grades, get into a good university, get ahead, take this stubborn grandpa around the world, and tell him that the world is already peaceful.

Later, he was admitted to Jincheng No. [-] Middle School.

People in the village don't know how good Jincheng No. [-] Middle School is, but they know that it is a key high school in the provincial capital.

Uncle De, who sent Qingyun to take the exam for foreign students, came back and said that he heard people say that entering this high school means entering a key university.

At that time, the village was boiling, and grandpa laughed from ear to ear.

The villagers even believed that Huanglian Village in Qingjiagou was about to produce a high-ranking official.

Because I was a high school student in the village, I became a township cadre.

This future key university student, after coming out, can't he be a provincial cadre?

At that time, there were no college student village officials.

The 80-year-old villager opened the ancestral hall and told his ancestors that the Qing family has successors.

That's right, he is from the Qing family.

The 300-year-old Qing family went out to Sichuan to go to the national disaster, and only 7 people returned.

After that, Grandpa passed away and he became an orphan again.

Emmm...not orphans either.

There is one more god-sister.

Thinking of this, Qing Yun laughed, it was this godmother who always wanted to be his wife.

However, at that time, he actually didn't have much feeling for Tang Qianying.

In other words, at that time, his heart was full of the girl named Qin Manman.

Grandpa is gone. Fortunately, he is 17 years old and doesn't need to go to the orphanage. The whole village told the Civil Affairs Bureau that they have raised the child.

However, Qing Yue, the senior high school student who left the village, said that the original adoption procedures were illegal, and that Qing Yun was a fraudster.

Qing Yue deserved to be a high school student of that era, and he directly grabbed Qing Yun's lifeline with his first move.

The household registration system has been the core system of the country for thousands of years.

No matter how good Jincheng No. [-] Middle School is, under this system, there is no way to intervene.

When reading other people's stories, people always believe in the darkness more, but when it happens to themselves, they believe in the light.

If there are so many things that are above the system, where did they get the keyboard?

There is no such thing as the saying that the principal of a high school can suppress everything with a single shot.

In a system that has absorbed more than 90% of the elites of Huaguo, two different systems and two different divisions, if you buy it, it would be too anti-intellectual.

Therefore, Qingyun can only go to court, which is a reasonable plot.

After living for 17 years, Qing Yun knew for the first time that she had no identity at all in this world.

In fact, it is not a big deal that black households can reapply.

However, the student status that matches the household registration one-to-one cannot be kept.

Although it didn't affect Qingyun's admission to university, he could no longer go to public high school, and all the preferential treatment he had enjoyed before had to be cancelled.

Because of all of this, it is based on Grandpa Qingyun's status as a special hero.

Now, the two have no connection, so naturally they are invalid.

Everything became a dead end.

Fortunately, in this world, there are still "superior people".

With the intervention of Jincheng No. [-] Middle School Alumni Association, especially Qin Tianchuan, the whole incident was brought back to life.

Jincheng No. [-] Middle School is a strong liberal arts school, which means that its students are numerous in the judicial and legal circles.

A team of lawyers and seniors, which can be called a luxurious team, came out, and the judge who hit the hammer was also trembling.

Although everything was developing in a good direction, although Qing Yun finally kept his identity in this world, but at that time he was at a loss.

grandfather……

The world is really big.

grandfather……

After you left, this world is really strange.

He had no grievances with that township cadre, why did he attack him so viciously?

In fact, in terms of blood relationship, when grandpa left, Qing Yue was his closest relative, and he even called him uncle.

He still remembered that it was Qing Yue who taught him to write.

"Horizontal and vertical are the strength of character, and flying is the blood!"

Every high school student in that era was at least 211.

Qing Yun has always remembered Qing Yue's words.

Therefore, he has a special paranoia about practicing calligraphy.

In order to save paper, he really uses branches to practice strokes and brushwork on the loess loose sand.

Therefore, he developed the habit of writing without regret, and there is no such luxury as a draft.

And in the previous life, agreeing to be Qin Manman's contract boyfriend was the starting point of his life sinking in the next 20 years.

He rose from a high building and took the position of vice president of HOPU Group in just 4 years.

His building collapsed, and the statistics of college graduates are waiting for employment.

He took the postgraduate entrance examination, he took the doctoral examination, he stayed in school, and he taught.

In fact, he still can't tell whether it was Qin Tianchuan's bad taste of being a "superior" at that time.

Because I am too small.

He didn't believe that Qin Tianchuan couldn't see his talent in business, but Qin Tianchuan just didn't give him a chance.

All-round pressure without dead ends.

No matter what industry he is in, he can't pass the resume.

The Qin family is too big.

Even if I open a noodle restaurant by myself, I can't keep it open.

Can only surrender and admit defeat.

Combined with Qin Manman's words in this life, he finally realized that in his previous life, he was plotted by those two father and daughter to be her spare tire.

The spare tire of the scientific cause of the motherland.

It sounds pretty noble.

Just as a man, it's too aggrieved.

Qin Manman in his previous life never even gave him a chance to be on top.

Blame him?
If it weren't for her tossing and calculating in the third year of high school, would the two of them be like this?

How many people in this world can have her 'Qin Zhao' scheming?

But Tang Qianying went too far.

Keep saying something like 'white moonlight', something like 'I don't want to lose, let alone him lose'...

If you have the ability, don't run away with the ball!

To put it bluntly, I just want to be a cinnabar mole!

As for Qin Tianchuan, he is a good entrepreneur, he is a good father for the country and the people, and his daughter Qin Manman is loved endlessly...

But why should he make a decision on his own destiny!

Qing Yun's breathing became heavy, and he closed his eyes.

Resentment and aggrieved emotions suppressed, lingered, and collided in his chest, and even his body trembled.

He recalled the 38 years of his previous life in his heart, just like Nezha was reviewing his life through the replay function of Tongtianzhu.

Replay means that we go back to the early state of the event.

At this time, we will find some different perspectives, and we will see that the so-called truth is the result of each choice and action.

Backtracking is three steps:

First: find yourself

Second: accept yourself

Third: Consciousness in all things
When the work is getting more and more confused and the feeling of powerlessness appears, it is time to look back seriously.

Going back from when I have memories, to re-understand myself, what is the thing that interests me the most?

What I do most is probably an act.

We can think carefully about why we were so interested in that event at that time, and why we were so happy after doing it?
That is your true original intention.

When we finally know ourselves, we must start to accept ourselves, the most authentic self, what we really need is not too ambitious, but that is the original intention of the true self.

What is Qing Yun's original intention?
Or, in this life, what was his original intention?
It's very simple.

At this time, we have come to the third step of backtracking, which is the step closest to the present moment.
Awaken to all things.

What does that mean?

It is to combine our original intention with this complicated world.

Let the two have a sense of unity. Only when they reach agreement with the world, the sense of powerlessness will basically disappear.

Still like the devil boy Nezha, who likes to attack as soon as he is born.

Attack everything, this is the real Nezha.

But for a long time, he couldn't accept himself, so he always gave up on himself.

Until later, he knew that he was actually transformed by the magic pill, and he completely accepted himself who likes to attack, and began to exert great destructive power.

Only when you accept it can you awaken and become aware of all things.

What do you mean?
When he saw the truth that his father was willing to sacrifice his life for himself, he had a certain awareness;

When he saw that the villagers were about to be killed, he regained some consciousness.

That's why I said the sentence: My fate is up to me

This is the beginning to fight against the feelings of powerlessness that have always remained in the mind.

No one is perfect, but everyone is complete, and everyone has good and evil sides.

When we discover the truth of a higher dimension, the good beyond good and evil, and what kind of life we ​​want to live, there will be a lot more choices at once.

Only by knowing who I am can I better accept myself and be aware of everything.

The corners of Qing Yun's mouth curled up.

I control my own life……

I control my own life.

I control my own life!
He opened his eyes abruptly and stood up.

All the lumps in his chest were gone, turning into a monstrous fighting spirit.

Yes, very much fighting spirit.

Wine, flowers, applause, beauties.

In this life, fight for it.

pen.

Dip in ink.

Swipe a penny.

And just.

(End of this chapter)