Starting from the pursuit of talented girls

Chapter 47 Freedom and Love Do Not Conflict

"No."

Chen Yanxi pursed her lips.

Still ruthlessly refused.

Although her attitude towards Wang Ge has changed a lot compared to before, the answer to this question has never changed.

Wang Ge is used to being rejected, and he doesn't care, he just complained, "Okay, you are noble, you have broken away from the low-level interests of love and love, you go to pursue your lofty ideals, leaving me alone as a lonely old man Stay alone in an empty room..."

This is all a mess... Chen Yanxi shook her head dumbfoundingly, "If you like this kind of thing, there is no difference between low-level and high-level."

"In the eyes of the public, you people with ideals are much more advanced than people like me who have no ambitions and just want to lie flat." Wang Ge shrugged.

"Lying flat is also a kind of ideal. In today's society, everyone is equal. No one is more noble than another. Isn't the ideal the same?"

"I totally agree with what you said, but comparison is the driving force of social progress. No matter where there are all kinds of comparisons, ideals are also inevitable..."

The two of them strolled casually on the street, keeping a distance that was neither too far nor too close, chatting about some inexplicable and messy things.

Chen Yanxi really liked this feeling.

That night, she wrote in her diary:

"I have to admit that being with Wang Ge is really very, very tempting."

"Being with him, my current situation can be greatly improved. I don't need to go to a part-time job, I don't need to go to cram school, I don't need to endure this family that suffocates me. I can do something I like. You can even feel the sweet love described in the book.”

"He can easily bring me those beautiful things that I have never experienced and have been yearning for for a long time."

"I've thought more than once, why don't I just agree to Wang Ge, it's good to be with him, relaxed and free, I like him anyway, don't I?"

"It's like taking a shortcut in life and owning a cheating tool in life. As long as I nod and agree, my world will undergo earth-shaking changes, and those beautiful things will come one after another."

"But, how can there be anything beautiful in this world."

"If there is, it must be a trap set by the devil to tempt people to fall."

"It's not that I'm lofty and ignorant. I insist on suffering, and I don't bother to take shortcuts."

"It's that what Wang Ge can bring to me is only the shallowest level of beauty. They are based on Wang Ge's liking for me. Once this liking disappears, the beauty will be instantly fragmented, leaving a mess everywhere."

"I'm not doubting Wang Ge's feelings for me, but, as I said to Wang Ge during the day, nothing in this world is eternal, and everything has a certain shelf life."

"My parents were also in love a long time ago, and the smiles on the wedding photos are so sincere."

"But now?"

"Whether you like it, hate it, love it, or hate it, these emotions based on human subjective emotions are the most perishable things. No matter how deep and unforgettable, they will gradually disappear under the scouring of time. .”

"Take a step back, even if Wang Ge can always like me."

"The beauty that can be brought by others is not really your own after all."

"In life, one should not only be bound by these superficial things. In a long life, there must be something that is higher than others, higher than everything else, even if you give up your life, you must pursue it."

"That's the beauty that really belongs to you."

"For others, it may be an ideal, it may be justice, it may be love, or it may be a certain person or a certain thing."

"For me, that's freedom."

"It is the freedom to be unfettered and to control life completely by oneself."

"I have been chained for too long. Growing up, my parents never let me do something that I really wanted to do, which led to my extreme desire for freedom, something that I never had. eager."

"I know this craving is not normal, maybe even a little deformed."

"I don't want this deformed desire to affect my normal emotional judgment of Wang Ge. For this reason, I have asked my heart many times."

"What exactly do I want?"

"Is it the beauty within reach as long as you hug the person in front of you, or is it the longing for freedom hidden deep in your heart?"

"What does the freedom I want look like?"

"Is it enough to just leave the family? Is it enough to be free to do what you like?"

"In repeated self-inquiry, self-reflection, and self-examination, I got the answer."

"In the face of freedom, love, and all the good things it brings, are so fragile, small, and vulnerable."

"Freedom is the meaning of this person named Chen Yanxi."

"Wang Ge likes me, isn't that what he likes about me? If one day, I give up my insistence on freedom, then the Chen Yanxi that Wang Ge likes will disappear, and what will be left is nothing but ordinary people. A body without distinction."

"Then he won't like me anymore, and the beauty he brought to me will be shattered like a bubble."

"As I said above."

"So, the logic is closed."

"And the freedom I want is definitely not that simple."

"Promise to Wang Ge, of course I can rely on his strength to easily break free from the shackles of my family. But in this way, I will owe him something, our relationship will no longer be equal, and our relationship will no longer be pure."

"Is this not going from one cage to another?"

"All intimacy is a shackle. I used to like to say this sentence. Now, as my thinking matures, I want to add a prefix to this sentence."

"All unequal intimate relationships are a kind of shackle. The deeper the bond, the stronger the shackle."

"It's not that I can't be with Wang Ge. Freedom and love don't conflict, but it must be based on equality."

"I am not ignorant or ignorant of flexibility. If I am a mediocre person who does nothing, if I have no ability to break free from the shackles of my family, I will naturally ask Wang Ge for help."

"But since I have the ability, then I have to rely on my own ability to gain freedom."

"In this way, when we meet again someday in the future, I can stand opposite him as an equal, and accept this share with a smile, an incomparably pure feeling composed entirely of likes and love."

"I might be with him, but definitely not now."

"..."

"After re-reading the above diary, I suddenly realized that I am really a selfish person."

"Emotion should be a matter between two people, but I have been thinking about myself."

"I need to reflect."

"..."

"I checked myself again and found that I didn't think about Wang Ge, probably because of that girl named Gu Panyan."

"I thought I didn't care about this matter, but I still felt a little uncomfortable, and I also had a little bit of resentment towards Wang Ge, so I subconsciously didn't consider his feelings just now."

"—Obviously before, I always wanted to compensate him or something."

"From this point of view, this is probably considered 'jealous'?"

"It's an interesting feeling."

　Don't call me hot, don't call me hot, I don't understand many places, so be more tolerant to me, a new author
　　In addition, this chapter may be revised several times later, and some more beautiful words may be used to modify it, but the specific plot will not change, please rest assured

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(End of this chapter)