hollywood billionaire

Chapter 351 I’m not worthy
"It's Barbara Pavin, right?"

"The woman you fucked."

All the steaming strong emotions were forced back into the heart by Madison at this second, leaving Han Yi with a disguise of calmness, numbness, and almost indifference.

On weekdays, Madison Beal never knows how to hide himself. Behind the polite, friendly and approachable appearance, there is an enthusiastic and straightforward young soul active. In the past six months, almost every new colleague and friend who met her thought that Madison, who was cute and well-behaved and always looked full of energy, was a person who didn't know what sadness was.

Her world seems to be pink every day. Birds are singing when she opens the window. Even if there is a short shower, there will definitely be a rainbow that fills the sky. Joy and laughter are the only melody of Madison's life in 2016. Because, this year, she did have too many major events worth remembering and celebrating.

Found a generous new owner.

He gave his first kiss that he had cherished for seventeen years because of trauma.

Embark on a 40-city North American tour.

Won the Billboard singles chart number one.

Win back everything you once lost.

The second time was during the months last year when letters of termination from Kojima Records and SB Projects came one after another. The destruction of her career and the continuation of cyberbullying caused Madison to lock herself in her room, remain silent and stay up all night, swallowing Xanax by the handful. Hair loss. She spent most of her time curled up in the corner in a daze, and late at night when she really couldn't sleep, she would crawl into the closet and sob until dawn in a way that would not affect her mother and brother.

Sweeping across the border, everything was devastated.

He also found a future that he was willing to give his all to.

And all this dream-like beauty comes from and is tied to one person.

"Just answer my question." Madison looked extremely calm, and even had an abnormal smile on her lips, "Did you fuck her? Yes, or no?"

It turns out that last year, when she saw the termination statement from Kojima Records in her mailbox, the pain that her ventricles and lungs contracted violently at the same time, making her open her mouth desperately and almost suffocating, was real.

And this time, it came even more intensely.

Even if this person is a petite and fragile little girl who cried two days ago because she didn't want to go to summer camp.

Madison has always thought of herself as a very emotional person, and most of the time in her life, she is. No matter what happens to her, good or bad, she responds in a slightly grandiose way. After all, she is a Pisces girl, and she is a Pisces girl who grew up in the United States. Their emotional ups and downs are like a drama produced by HBO, which will always be presented to the world in the most dramatic way.

Han Yi's confession was her Hurricane Katrina.

The color filter in front of her eyes was suddenly turned off, and the dim reality rushed to penetrate her retinas and seep into her brain.

Until this moment comes.

It turned out that it was just a cramped secret room converted from a conference hall, with only one chandelier running listlessly.

"Maddie..."

The first time was when mother Tracey and father Robert divorced. My mother was crying loudly in the driver's seat. My four-year-old brother Rhett was still an ignorant toddler. When he saw his mother sad, he couldn't help but wipe his tears along with her. And her seven-year-old sister, Madison, was sitting in the back seat, repeating comforting words. While pretending to be mature and saying, "Everything will pass, it's better to be separated happily than to be together in pain," while hugging his brother tightly, gently wiping away his tears, and lovingly kissing his hair.

If it hadn't been for that time when he was standing on the edge of the bedroom balcony, he was discovered and saved by Rhett who happened to be on the phone on the living room balcony. If Tracy and Red hadn't stepped up their care of Madison after this incident, knocking on the door to confirm that she was safe if she stayed alone in her room for too long, then Maddie would have left this place quietly. world.

Although he was still young at the time, Madison knew that someone had to support the family that was about to collapse.

Who else could be as lucky as her?
The days floating in the clouds of bliss have passed for too long, and Madison Beer has forgotten the sorrows of yesterday, as if she was born to live in this fairy tale castle built of honor, fame, fortune and admiration, and has never tasted the diseases and diseases of the world. pain.

Now, she feels it again.

In Madison Beer's seventeen years of life so far, only three times has she chosen to deal with the fate that is coming her way in a completely different way.

It turns out that there are no pink bubbles rising in this lounge.

And the third time...

That's it now.

There was no hysteria that was completely out of control as imagined. There was no obvious fluctuation in Madison Beer's expression or voice. There was only a slight tremor hidden in the hoarse voice, and the vulgar words that did not care about Barbara's face at all. This allowed Han Yi to cast a startling glance at the anger, confusion and confusion she had suppressed in her heart.

"Yes." Han Yi licked his lips, nodded and said, "I... am her."

He obviously wanted to say something more, but when the words came to his lips, he could not say them out.

"When?"

"Ibiza."

"That's...before the first tour?"

"Yes."

"When you were in Europe, I would text you every day."

"I know."

"You also reply to me every day."

"Yes."

"I will even find various reasons to send you a video chat request just to take a look at you."

"I remember all this."

"Then...why?" Madison clenched her fists and moved inch by inch towards Han Yi in front of her. But before she touched the other person's chest, her five fingers had already spread out helplessly, "I just want to understand... why did you do this? I'm not in a position to accuse you, Yi, I understand... We never put a label on what we had between us, but those kisses, they did mean something to me."

"Do they mean anything to you?"

"Or am I just deceiving myself, thinking that there is more between us than meets the eye?"

At this point, Madison's other hand also covered Han Yi's chest. She looked more panicked than the other person.

"You...you don't need to say nice words to comfort me. If you think we were just...fooling around, that's okay. Maybe that's what we were doing before..."

"Of course they are meaningful to me, Maddie." Han Yi's voice was soft but firm, "They are the... best gift I have ever received. You are also the best gift I have ever received since I chose to found Han Music. The best gift." "The best gift...is it really me?" Madison lowered her eyes and said to herself, "I know this is not Universal or Sony, but in this empire you created from scratch, there are more people than There are so many people I'm famous for who are better than me, even now. Diplo, Snoop, Lana, they're the key reason why others in the industry always talk about us. More importantly, Even among newcomers who have made breakthroughs recently, I'm not the best one. Look at Horsi...her name is still at the top of the bulletin board."

"I told you, every musician is a river. For others, I just continue to sail down their established channel. At most, I pull up a few sails to let the ship move forward. The speed has become a little faster. But with you, Tracy, we have joined hands to create a brand new lake. Will it grow into an ocean one day? I don’t know, but it is our joint crystallization. This is what you You mean so much to me, Tracy. You will always have a special place in my heart."

"You know, Yi." Madison's fingertips wandered unconsciously on Han Yi's chest, "Sometimes what you say is really hard to understand."

"Some words were not meant for you... they were meant for me." Han Yi looked at Madison gently, "People live in this world to find value. And your existence, Your development and your shining are my value. A very important part of my value."

"Then since I'm so important..." Madison's throat choked twice, and the ice that had finally formed on her surface was almost melted by Han Yi, "Why do you still want to find someone else?"

"Because I still need to realize other values. You represent a very important part of the value in my life, maybe the most important part, but it is only a part."

Han Yi took Madison's hands away from his chest, sighed softly, and smiled bitterly.

"I'm just so greedy."

"I..." Madison opened her mouth, unable to speak for a long time, "I don't understand."

"I have been given the greatest gift imaginable, Maddie."

Han Yi sat back next to Madison, folding his hands in front of his knees. After pondering for a long time, he suddenly said this sentence.

"what is that?"

"Freedom, true freedom." Han Yi said in a low voice, "There is only one form of freedom in this world, and that is the freedom brought by money. As long as human society is still functioning normally, as long as humans themselves still pursue The desire for good things will remain true as long as we remain slaves to hedonism.”

"What is freedom? Freedom is the ability to make the choices you want and live the way you want. No money, no choices. A little money, a little choice. And I..."

"You have almost unlimited choices in anyone's opinion." Madison glanced at the yellow notebook they had just pushed to the other end of the sofa. The collection of 180,000 US dollars was just dumped there casually.

This is the choice Han Yi has.

Preserving Freddie Mercury's history and changing Madison Beal's history were all within his reach.

"Yes... dissatisfaction is a natural reaction of human beings when faced with infinite options. Greed is a stubborn disease stemming from dissatisfaction."

Han Yi poked his collarbone heavily with his index finger.

"And I am the one who has this stubborn disease, Maddie."

"You know I won't publicize this publicly, but you should know - among all the people you have come into contact with, the wealth I can control should be the one with the most, if not the only one. What I face There are more options than you can imagine, and so is my greed."

"I know...I understand what you want to say." Madison rubbed the sequins attached to her fingertips vigorously, feeling the real pain of this involvement, and forced a smile to Han Yi, "An ordinary person Ordinary pop singers can’t satisfy your appetite.”

"Yes and no." Han Yi sneered. Of course, the object of his sneer was himself, not others. "You are not an ordinary pop singer. You are anyone who mentions singing talent and outstanding appearance." When you get married, you will be the first girl that comes to mind. After you became famous in "Cold Water", every gossip tabloid that mentions your name will first say, 'She is the hottest female singer in the world.'"

"But even such a beauty cannot satisfy me. One second I was chatting with you, and the next second I saw Barbara Pavin, my vanity expanded rapidly and flew to other places - I I have to get this Victoria’s Secret Angel, there’s no other reason. Because she’s here and because I can.”

"So, who launched the offensive first?" When initiating this question, Madison hugged herself tightly with her hands, as if the temperature in the locker room dropped sharply and she could no longer bear the cold, "You or her?"

"I won't discuss these details, Tracy McGrady. Just like I will never discuss the details between us in front of other people." Han Yi looked at Madison and slowly shook his head.

"But at least you are... purely physically intimate, right?" Madison was like a firefly flying around a dim streetlight late at night, ridiculously paranoid and wanting to get close to the light that was not warm, "I think you at least Can you tell me this.”

"This is the worst, most perverted, most hopeless part of me."

Han Yi looked up at the ceiling and let out a long sigh of relief.

"When it comes to women, I don't just get involved for physical reasons. I don't just treat it like a game, I... always make it more complicated."

"I can't help but get to know every woman in my life that I'm intimate with and end up developing strong feelings for them. That's not fair to anyone, including Barbara, including you. I can't help it. My behavior, I can't get over it, it's like... a mental illness."

"If I knew how to handle a relationship correctly and how to deal with my emotions correctly, then I should have severed all relations with Barbara by now, with, with..." Han Yi did not finish the first half of the sentence, Then he was forced to another track by his own knotted tongue, "But I can't do it, Maddie."

"So, you like her?"

"Yes, I have to admit."

"Do you still like me?"

"no doubt."

"Who do you like more?"

"I can't answer that question."

"That's her."

"You know the answer is not that simple, McGrady." Han Yi rubbed his cheeks irritably and vigorously, "I have a thousand ways to avoid this conversation, a thousand excuses to end everything between us. I You can say that we have to end this because you are still underage, and I can also say that you are my contracted artist and there can be no romantic relationship between us..."

"You know this excuse can't stop me." Madison pointed to her temple self-deprecatingly, "I have thought about everything clearly and thought of everything - if you use the first excuse, I will tell you , the minimum age of sexual consent in Las Vegas is sixteen. If you use the second excuse, I would say: Reese Witherspoon and Jim Todt, Hilary Swank and John - Campisi, Robert Downey Jr., Susan Levin...tale as old as time."

"I know they can't stop you." Han Yi pursed his lips, "I know even better that I have hurt you. If I end this by concealing... fabricating the truth, it will only make you more painful in the future. .Only the real reason can bring about the real ending."

"I know it doesn't make the truth sound any better, I'm just telling you - I don't deserve it, Maddie, I'm not who you think I am."

Having said this, Han Yi picked up the yellow notebook on his side and solemnly stuffed it into Madison's arms.

"I don't know where today's conversation will take us in the end. How will you view me and how will you view our relationship? Do you want to continue to walk with me in Hollywood, or do you want to move on from now on? You will never say a word to me again... But no matter which ending it is, I will accept it, and I can only accept it. Because I have to be honest with you, and there is no other way. You are a person who has gone through all kinds of things. A girl who remains pure despite suffering, not everyone can do this, but I hope at least you can be one of them."

"You still have a long way to go in life, and your stardom... has just begun. The next twenty years... no, thirty years will be the most golden period of your life, the most wonderful years, your time , energy and love should not be wasted on a guy who has no concept of sacrifice, renunciation and loyalty."

"Again, Maddie, I am more complicated, more entangled, more greedy... and more ruthless than you think."

"I don't deserve it."

(End of this chapter)