hollywood billionaire

Chapter 199 Perfect You
"A relationship doesn't have a perfect ending,

There is no magic formula.

when it rips your heart apart,

There was only one silent scream. "

At this time last year, Zhao Youzhen happened to see Michael Ford's collection of poems, "Bitter Sweet Love" on the new book counter of Barnes & Noble.

At that time, she turned a few pages, and was frowned by the sour smell of love that rushed to her face, and hurriedly closed the pages.

"Falling in love is never rational,
That's downright crazy,
A moment of beauty and wonder, a magnificent insanity. "

Oh so fresh.Do all the poets who write about love in this world only use such big words as "magnificent insanity"?

"We all make mistakes.

my madness,

is falling in love,
But forgot to bring a parachute. "

Cliché.

Dull expressions are repeated to an annoying degree.

"She was wild, unpredictable, beautiful and dangerous.

Can not resist.

A summer storm in a bikini. "

What a delicately packaged misogyny.

Love has to be hooked up to a bikini, right?

Zhao Youzhen still remembers that at that time, he hurriedly threw this collection of poems back to the bookshelf like trash, and the last paragraph he saw was "When it tears your heart apart, only a silent scream remains."

There are so many stupid words in the book, but this one left the deepest impression on her.

If a relationship doesn't have a perfect ending, why bother with it?
Since you chose to start, it tore your heart, don't you deserve it?
Take it, what are you screaming for?
A truly wise man would never put himself in such a situation.

How deep was Zhao Youzhen's disdain for Michael Ford that day, and how sorry she is now for this writer who lives in seclusion in a small town in New Zealand.

She's not sorry for the comment she made in her heart, because Michael Ford's poems, while selling well, are essentially a collection of Instagram love quotes that have been brimming with gold and blemishes.

What she was sorry for was that she shouldn't have questioned the content of those clichés.

Zhao Youzhen finally realized that the reason why clichés become clichés is precisely because people have repeated them too much in the past.

Most of the time, only the truth will be repeated.

In a relationship, there really is no so-called perfect ending or formula.

When the person you like uses language as a sharp knife to cut open your heart little by little, even the scream is silent.

"Then what, um..."

Zhao Youzhen clasped his hands tightly together and pressed them to his lips.This kind of defensive action can stop her fingers from trembling, and her fragile voice, which was almost choking, becomes more blurred after being covered by the palm.

"You kissed, what happened next?"

"Grace... should I call her your girlfriend now?"

"No, we... haven't talked about this issue at all." Han Yi shook his head extremely seriously, "Because it took me a long time to tell her the same thing."

"You like her, but you like me too."

"Yes."

"Wow."

Squeezing out a sigh, for the next two or three minutes, Zhao Youzhen remained motionless, maintaining the same posture, staring at Han Yi desperately.

This was the first time Han Yi discovered that a person's eyes could accommodate both winter and summer at the same time.

The ice and snow storm at minus 56 degrees in Oymyakon and the scorching yellow sand at minus [-] degrees in Tunisia's Death Valley merged into a pair of eyes, covering the pair of peach blossom eyes with a thick layer of clouds.

"You know what? When I was in New York, I told Grace that I fell in love with you for a specific moment."

"Leaving Peter Ruger's taxi, I opened my eyes and saw your profile, and I liked you."

"Second meeting, second time."

"Since then, every conversation, every inadvertent touch, every look at you, there is a part so small that I didn't even realize it, looking forward to it. Looking forward to the next second, You'll tell me: Hey, I like you, let's be together."

"I know it's unrealistic, but for four months the anticipation has built up and I didn't realize until five minutes ago how intense it had become."

“It felt like, I wanted to write a perfect piece, but no matter how I recorded it, the vocals were out of tune from beginning to end. It would be too much trouble to rewrite it, can you imagine? It would take How much precious time, and pointless attempts? "

"As a result, one day suddenly, I discovered that the sound of the whole piece was not due to a problem with the music score, but with the settings of the autotune. Just press a certain button, and the music will start to sound pleasant again."

"That's what you did to me today, Yi. One switch and my music is on key, for a split second."

"You're the switch."

Zhao Youzhen snapped his fingers.

"It was one of the happiest moments I can remember. But unfortunately, you didn't stop there. You got it right, but you scribbled on the sheet music, wrote what you wanted to write, and put my The song was changed...in a mess, beyond recognition."

"If you want a piece of music that sucks in the first place, then why...in the first place, let me hear its perfect sound?"

"Why did you say you liked me before you told me Grace kissed you?"

"why?"

"Because I'm not a perpetrator, Yujin."

Hearing that Zhao Youzhen's emotions were getting agitated, and almost lost control at the last sentence, Han Yi did not choose to argue loudly, but made his voice soft and gentle, so that Youzhen had to calm down and listen carefully.

"I don't want the situation to become like this, and I don't want to feel the same way about two people at the same time. Believe it or not, I also... look forward to the kind of love that will last forever, and I also hope that there is only one girl in this world , can let me say her name silently, and the corners of my mouth can rise in happiness, just one is enough."

"But that's not the life I've had. I've had two girls like that in my life...and I didn't mean to...trick you, or seduce you, you know. If I'd harbored ill intentions for you, we wouldn't be here now. With such a relationship, today’s conversation will never happen.”

"If I deliberately wanted to do that, now you should love me wholeheartedly, and think that I also love you wholeheartedly, fighting together for the cause we love together. On the surface, everything is That's perfect. You'd never know that there's another person living inside of me, or worse... in another house in Los Angeles, thinking she's the same as my love Invulnerable man."

Noticing the waiter coming with their sushi platter, Han Yi's words stopped abruptly.He politely nodded and smiled at the waiter, it seemed that the topic he talked with Zhao Youzhen just now had nothing to shock the world, it was just an ordinary parent's short-sightedness.It wasn't until the Asian waiter finished introducing the dishes and left the table to the two of them again that Han Yi continued his narration.

"There are hundreds of ways I can do this, and there are hundreds of ways to make sure you don't, or even leave me, even if you find out later. I can do it all easily, but at what cost What? You...know the family environment where I grew up and the accident that happened to Grace a few months ago. And, you yourself...sorry, Yujin, I hope you don't mind if I mention your family at this time .”

"I don't mind." Zhao Youzhen still had the same expressionless face, but the extreme temperatures in the eyes of winter and summer were slightly eased, "I know what you want to say, you come from a similar, traumatized Family, me and Grace too. You have told me, and you have said more than once, that in your world, only the role of mother and father has been absent. Therefore, you are more important than ordinary men. Can empathize. So...you don't want to hurt us."

"What you said...is not 100% accurate, but, generally speaking, it is what I think."

"But, Yi, you know, if you don't want to hurt anyone, what's the best thing to do?"

"What is it?"

"Make—a choice." Youzhen clenched his right hand into a fist and gently landed on the table, "Before everything can be saved, let one of them completely despair and quit completely. Whether it's me or... Grace is fine. Of course it will be painful at first, but this short-term severe pain can be cured, and after a long time, everything can be forgotten."

"But if you procrastinate until... quitting is not an acceptable choice for me and her. At that time, it will be the real harm."

"Of course I understand what you said." Han Yi hesitated to speak, "But..."

"But what?"

"But... have you ever considered, what should I do to minimize the harm to myself while not hurting you?"

"To you..." Youzhen's lips parted slightly, not knowing how to respond for a while.

The harm he did to himself?
"The people involved and affected by this incident are not just you and Grace, but me too. Not two people, but three people." Han Yi filled the black lacquered cup in front of Zhao Youzhen with hot tea , with a gentle smile on his face, his nonchalant tone and rambling appearance gave Yuzhen even an illusion.As if nothing happened just now, as if he never said 'I like you', as if she didn't question his handling.

As if everything was business as usual.

"Even before I realized I liked you..."

"Wait." Zhao Youzhen interrupted the other party, "When did you like me?"

"It's not the second meeting, it will be a little later."

"Which time was that?" Youzhen bit her lower lip, a little regretful that she hurriedly revealed the truth to Han Yi.

Why do you say it's the second time... It's not so embarrassing to say No. 20 times, No. 30 times.

"The time for supper."

"Which supper?" Even though the atmosphere was a bit dignified, recalling the night shifts they worked together and the late-night food they tried together, Zhao Youzhen couldn't help but smile, "We've eaten so many suppers. "

Before they knew it, the conversation between the two had quietly switched back to Chinese for a while.

"Xiannong soup."

"We have eaten Xiannong soup more than once." Yuzhen blinked, and thought about it for a moment, "The time I invited you?"

"Correct."

"Why? We didn't... say anything or do anything that night."

"Because that night, I discovered that you are not as flawless and invulnerable as I imagined. You also have things to fear, things to fear, things... things that you don't know how to deal with."

"Oh." You Zhen puffed up her cheeks, "I found out that I have shortcomings and I'm easy to bully, so I like me, right?"

"What I found was not a shortcoming, but a human nature. The you before, maintained yourself...not like a person anymore. Except for the fact that you like to eat, I feel that you are like a program designed by artificial intelligence, with your whole body up and down I can't find a flaw or weakness. I feel... Even the trait of greed is a deliberately left... flaw? Or... a back door? I don't know how to describe it, but you should be able to understand me the meaning of."

"On the night of Xiannongtang, I found that the perfect thing is just the glass shell you cover yourself. The little girl living in it is a sensitive and fragile girl who wants to enter this world cautiously, but shrinks immediately when she is touched. Back to safety coward."

"Isn't that called a shortcoming?"

"At least it's not for me. For me, since I know you are that kind of person, I think you are more perfect."

"You're so contradictory." Zhao Youzhen picked up the hot tea and took a sip, "The preface doesn't match the postscript."

"It's not contradictory. The 'perfect' in the front refers to being flawless in the secular sense. The perfection in the back refers to... in my heart." Han Yi pointed to his chest and looked at his sweetheart with a smile. The praised Zhao Youzhen's face turned rosy at a speed visible to the naked eye.

"Stop...you should be less glib." Zhao Youzhen quickly picked up a piece of jade burnt, put it in his mouth and chewed it hastily.

"No glib, you don't understand...gosh you're perfect."

Han Yi held his chin with one hand, and looked at Zhao Youzhen with admiring eyes without any impurities.

The Korean girl was so ashamed that she almost forgot how to move her cheeks.

"When I say perfect, I don't mean standards set by society, or those unrealistic expectations. When I say perfect, I mean something that's... unique, that resonates with me, makes me believe it's... made for me Made to order."

"When you are concentrating on reading, you like to squint your eyes and wrinkle your nose every two minutes. When you are eating, you will never touch your mobile phone next to you. I am afraid that any news will disturb your meal. If someone keeps calling When you call, you will still be angry, really angry. By the way, and... your food is the worst I have ever seen. If there is a little sauce in the dish, it will be over. It will definitely stain your pants. , on the clothes, and on the face, everywhere. The key point is that you don’t even know it yourself, and you just shake your head and feel dizzy there, like a silly girl.”

"Every one of these strange imperfections superimposed on you will only make me feel that you... are more perfect. Sometimes, I even selfishly hope that you can be a little weirder, far from what most people like The appearance of your face is farther away. In this way, you will only be regarded as perfect by me."

"I'm in your heart, is that an exaggeration?"

Yujin, who likes to eat when she is happy, but wants to eat more when she is not happy, has already eaten half of the sushi platter without knowing it.Noticing that Han Yi hadn't even moved her chopsticks, she hurriedly grabbed a piece of salmon sushi for him in a remedial manner.

"Then... Let me ask you, since I am so perfect, why is it so difficult for you to make a choice?"

Facing the question raised by Zhao Youzhen, Han Yi did not answer directly.He just gently picked up the salmon sushi that Youzhen gave him, dipped it in some soy sauce, put it in his mouth, lowered his eyes and chewed carefully.

"I understand."

Maybe they were a match made in heaven, maybe the common heart is just the most superficial tacit understanding between them. Han Yi's silence did not make Zhao Youzhen feel confused. On the contrary, she caught him behind his silence almost instantly. The message you want to convey.

"Because...in your heart, she is just as perfect."

"Hi, I'm sorry, can I have another glass of iced coke, please?" Continuing to talk about him, Han Yi raised his hand to signal the waiter.

"You can't choose, because there is no winner between two perfect things. No matter which one you choose, you will regret the loss of the other."

In response to Zhao Youzhen, it was still Han Yi's silence and his act of adding food to Zhao Youzhen's dinner plate.

"Since you don't want to make a choice, why did you kiss her?!"

Just as Han Yi put the piece of yellowtail fish on Zhao Youzhen's plate, and was about to retract the wooden chopsticks, the latter quickly reached out and grabbed Zhao Youzhen's wrist, without giving him any time to react, and shouted in a low voice.

"I……"

Han Yi abruptly swallowed back the excuse that he almost blurted out. It is a sign of disrespect to disclose any details of their intimate behavior to anyone in any form without Xu Yiru's permission.

"It turned out that she took the initiative."

But Zhao Youzhen, who was extremely intelligent, didn't need to hear Han Yi's answer at all.After the assault, the other party's unexpected and natural revealing had already explained everything.

"Yuzhen, don't..."

"Don't worry, I won't ask any more. I don't care about the details between you."

Zhao Youzhen let go of Han Yi's left wrist, revealing a few teeth that were so white and dazzling under the sun, his smile looked so free and easy.

"I only have one last question left. After asking, we will have a good meal and return to the original state, as if this never happened."

"So, I hope you can...don't be silent, don't run away, give me an answer seriously and completely."

"Okay, I promise you."

Han Yi put down his chopsticks and nodded solemnly.

"What if you can't make a choice all the time?"

This is Zhao Youzhen's sentence today with the lightest tone but the heaviest meaning.

"The three of us are still young. Even if we maintain our current relationship, it doesn't matter a few years later. At the age of 21, what we got in the United States is a drinking license, not a dating license. I believe that whether it is me or... I don't think I'm in such a hurry."

Zhao You really corrected the last sentence with resentment.

She is not in a hurry, but there is a little fox who is very anxious.

"But what about a few more years? We can't go on like this forever. You still have... many, many years of good life, but the most precious time for a girl is only these three to five years."

"I know better than you, and I'm more anxious than you. At least I think so." Han Yi drew a circle on the edge of the teacup, "When I was in Europe, I came back to see you in Atlanta and went to Florida Every moment I go back to Los Angeles, I think about it."

"The result is that you will alienate me, and then... kiss her?"

No matter how mature and rational, after all, Zhao Youzhen is just a girl who longs for love, and has only longing for love. After hearing that the person she likes kissed another girl, she didn't make a big fuss or walk away. She just suppressed her jealousy and complained Two sentences are already extremely commendable performances.

Among a hundred girls, you can't find such a girl.

"No, my idea is to alienate the two of you." Han Yi spread his hands, with a sincere and bitter expression, "I can't make a choice, let alone force you to choose for me, so I turned around and did another choose."

"I don't want to speculate in the worst possible light on this, but... you mean by that, if you can't have both, you'd rather have neither?"

"I have to admit that there is a... small part of me that thinks like this."

After agreeing to keep silent and not to evade, and to give a complete answer, Han Yi will play the most authentic one for Zhao Youzhen.

"No one hesitates whether to eat cheesecake or cauliflower rice for dinner. People who want to lose weight eat cauliflower, and people who want to live on eat cheesecake. Most of the choices in life are similar to this fork in the road, you Know the possible consequences of each choice. Getting up late will deduct money, but getting up early will ruin the day. If you live in a poorer apartment, you must always pay attention to your personal safety, but if you live in a luxury villa, you must also consider financial security...these choices , is to let us give up some and get others. She and De are the most normal words in life. In this respect, I am the same as a normal person, and I will not have any difficulty in choosing. Enjoy the benefits of a choice, and then Just accept its disadvantages."

"But this is different. This is like... two identical cheesecakes in front of me, at most one is red velvet, the other is whipped cream, and both are my favorite flavors. And, At least on the surface, the emotional value they can provide me should be almost the same."

"I have to taste the difference to know the specific difference, but this is the most painful dilemma. In this restaurant, I can only order one piece of cake, and if I choose one, the other one will be taken back to the back kitchen. They come from two different chefs, and the chef's intention is like this, the chef...has the right to refuse to serve a certain customer at any time, this is their right, and I cannot change it."

"However, if I can only taste one piece of cake, how will I know which one is best for me? Yes, if I just want to fill my stomach, I can just pick a piece, any one will do. But the purpose of my coming to this restaurant is not just to fill my stomach. I just want to pick a piece of my favorite cake, and then... From today and every day in the future, I will only find this chef and eat only this piece cake."

"It's not that I don't want to make a choice, but the information I have now is not enough to support me to make a choice."

"Of course, I'm the kind of person who, once I make a choice, doesn't regret it, and I don't look back. But at the same time, I'm also the kind of person who, after giving up something, keeps asking myself in my mind, 'What if There was no drop it, how would things go' people."

"So, whether you can understand my mentality or not... I would rather spend my whole life thinking about what if, than wake up every morning and ask myself why did I, do you understand?"

"I'd rather not eat two pieces of cake, so that I have two tastes to imagine, and I don't want to eat one and think about the other. It's not fair to anyone."

"What if...why did I..."

"I see."

It took Zhao Youzhen a full 5 minutes from receiving Han Yi's last words to finally responding.

"Okay, let's not talk about this, let's eat first, your favorite chirashi bowl."

Ziyouzhen's eyes disappeared at the same time in winter and summer, and she became the girl who became more and more cheerful and gentle under the influence of Han Yi.

"By the way, after eating, I'll take you to the office first, and then I... go home and take a nap, okay? Take a leave of absence."

Zhao Youzhen poured a sip of the half-cold miso soup into his mouth, and said with a smile.

"I didn't rest well yesterday, so I'm really tired."

(End of this chapter)