Chapter 9

[Keep everyone waiting for a long time, the first half of the freshly released super long Bi Xia episode, warmly up! 】

[Recommend a new reasoning book "", which tells the story of cooperation between a professor of geek criminal psychology and a rookie policewoman who wants to be an excellent criminal policeman]

I have a very noble-sounding name called Bi Xia, but unfortunately, because of that woman, I was born with a humble life.

Of course, that woman didn't know how to give me such a special name. Originally, my name was ridiculous, and it was randomly chosen by an absent-minded person, but I don't want to mention it anymore. I have abandoned that name for a long time.

For as long as I can remember, the question I've asked that woman most often has been, Where's Dad?Why doesn't daddy come home or visit me?

The woman pretended not to hear my question every single time.

A woman’s surname is Bi, and I follow her surname. Maybe you will be curious, why she gave birth to me, but I only call her a woman. The reason for this is that only a few people know it. die.

I am not the child I expected. Sometimes when I think about it, I even envy those embryos that are taken away just after they are fully fleshed out.At least they don't have to be born into this world to face all kinds of humiliation and pain.

A woman is in the flesh business, without much culture, and was brought out by her fellow countrymen when she was a teenager, to do that kind of business in a small city. Because of this, it is impossible for her to find a lover other than one after another. The man who was willing to stay with her for the rest of her life, when she was 30 years old, she was not as old as before. In order to ensure her income, she had to go out even more hungry.It was under such circumstances that she became pregnant without even knowing whose offspring it was.

She originally wanted to go to the hospital to remove it, but later she thought that it was impossible for her to marry normally and have a family in this life, and she didn't want to be alone when she was old. that child.

Of course, I was the bastard who survived by chance.

When I was young, I always thought that women have some unspeakable secrets. My father either loved us deeply, but unfortunately passed away, or he failed her love, hurt her severely, and abandoned us.I thought she dodged because she was afraid of hurting me, because she remembered the pain of the past, so my heart was full of distress for her.

I have always known that there are always different uncles in and out of the family, but at that time I was too young to know what that meant, and I even listened to the opera on TV and sang "My cousins ​​are countless" At that time, she naively asked her if those men were my cousins.

The woman laughed and said, they are not your cousins, but your godfathers!

When I was a little older, I realized why she said that, it was because our mother and I got food and clothing from those men.

I remember it was a summer vacation in elementary school. I was doing summer homework at home, and her sisters came to chat with her. They might think that I was just a child. They chatted unabashedly, about each other's business, and their experience in soliciting customers.

In the middle, her friend suddenly looked at me and asked, "Who did you have a baby with? Tsk tsk tsk, you have beautiful features at such a young age, and you must be a good-looking man when you grow up! Just not at all. Like you, you must be like his father, tell me, when did you have such a handsome client?"

The woman sneered nonchalantly: "Who can remember this? I don't even remember how I got pregnant. I was busy at that time!"

They thought I didn't understand anything, but they didn't know that I had always been a precocious child. It wasn't that I was precocious, but the environment forced me to be like this.

Women don't know that in school, a year or two ago, kids started chasing after me and yelling at me, calling me a bastard without a father, calling me the son of a whore.

She didn't even know that I sometimes came home from school with bruises on my face from fighting with those kids.

She didn't know these things, because she never had the self-consciousness of being a mother. She only cared about how to ensure enough income for her to squander when she was getting older and fading.

She doesn't know anything, but I already know from her why I don't have a father.

It turned out that what the children said was true.

Since then, I have become more depressed, and I will not go home if I can’t go home. After understanding the identities of those strange men who come and go in and out of the house, I feel that my home is extremely dirty and full of stench , disgusting, they are all reminding me that I was born of a whore.

It is not my slander to say that she does not have the self-consciousness of being a mother. On this issue, I cannot say whether I should blame her or not.

I was not the child she was expecting, but just a feverish brain after winning the lottery unexpectedly. According to her own account, when she was seven or eight months pregnant, she suddenly regretted it and ran to the hospital to have it removed, but was told it was too late. Impossible, that's all.

When she was young, she also blamed me for this kind of resentment. For example, if I did something that didn’t go her way, she would beat me severely, scolding me while beating: “Why did my mother give birth to you, a little debt collector? ? Eat my own and drink my own, but also waste my experience and waste my time!"

In the intervening years, because of my estrangement, she was busy hooking up men outside, and we had very few opportunities to communicate. I didn't even ask her to attend the parent meeting. What is it called?After being called, the whole school will know that I have a mother who sells outside!
There was peace between us until I was in middle school.

It may be because I was squeezed out before. I have never had many friends. Instead, I have more time to concentrate on studying. I can’t find other things besides studying. In this way, my grades have become very good. The thing I'm most proud of, and while women don't take pride in that, I don't give a shit about a whore either.woman's view.

From the year I was admitted to a key junior high school, the conflict between the two of us became more and more intense.

Because the tuition and miscellaneous fees of key junior high schools are significantly higher than other middle schools, the woman began to complain. In her opinion, instead of being a useless nerd, I should do something practical, such as learning a craft, so that I can work and earn money as soon as possible. .

"I know you hate me," she said to me more than once: "I know from the way you look at me that you look down on me, but I also tell you, I don't care, I can't count on you to support me in the future Old man, I just hope you can quickly go out to work and earn money, get out of my house, and stop eating my flowers!"

So I left home and went to live in school. The living expenses given to me by women every semester are not generous. Because of my excellent grades, the school took care of me with a bunk and let me live in a crowded dormitory for 8 people. I try not to go home Go, unless at the end of the month, I have to go back to ask for living expenses, because I don't want others to know where my family lives, and that area is a well-known weathered area in the local area.

In the first year of junior high school, I spent it so peacefully. Only my teacher knew that I came from a single-parent family, but they didn’t know my background. I had a very happy life, and finally I could hold my head up like other children life.

When I was promoted to the second year of junior high school, the school notified the parent meeting. I don’t understand why there is a parent meeting in junior high school, and if the attitude is tough, the parents must attend. It’s not as casual as it was in elementary school. gifted students are no exception.If it wasn't for that, maybe my life would be a little different today.

But life has no ifs.

I had no choice but to go home and tell the woman to attend the parent-teacher meeting. With a hint of fantasy, I told her the good grades and honors I got in school. After she listened numbly, she curled her lips. : "That's a fart, it's not made by my old lady with money!"

Even so, she went to participate.

After the parent-teacher meeting was over, my peace was also over. Within a few days after returning to the dormitory, I obviously felt that I was warm to me, because my roommates who had good grades and were slightly fawning on me began to dodge and evade me, and their attitudes were also different. Very nonchalant.

One day, suppressing the uneasiness in my heart, I pretended to smile and sat on the edge of the bed next door to talk to him. He suddenly pushed me away, causing me to fall to the ground unexpectedly.

"Don't sit on my bed! I don't want to get sick!" He frowned, and looked at me who fell on the ground from the corner of his eyes contemptuously, with a condescending look.

That day, I broke out, and that roommate was beaten badly by me. It is said that when he was sent to the hospital, he had three broken ribs. I beat them like crazy, and scared the others out of their wits. No one dared to come forward to stop me. , After playing for a long time, one of them woke up and ran to call the teacher.

I hung up the punishment, left the dormitory, and resumed my commuting life.My seat was moved to a corner at the back of the classroom because no one wanted to talk to me, no one wanted to sit at the same table as me.The girl who used to sit at the same table as me and was always courteous to me, I watched her wipe herself and the table and chairs next to her repeatedly with disinfectant wipes many times.

The girls in the class were like her, avoiding me like a snake, as if I represented something.

Every time I see them evasive, I sneer in my heart, what good things are you guys?Who knows if you will be like that woman in the future, relying on selling your soul and flesh to make a living!
I regained my withdrawn and violent appearance. At school, no one paid attention to me, and no one wanted to talk to me. Except for the same test results, even the teachers didn't like to ask me questions, and everyone tried their best to ignore me.Of course, they didn't dare to laugh at me, and the man with three broken ribs made them understand the danger of laughing at me.At home, I don’t talk to women, she still does her business, and there are often different men coming and going, I go home every day and close the door to do my homework, read books by myself, and listen to English with the stereo on loudly, not to listen to them Disgusting noises.

After graduating from junior high school, I took the exam for a key high school. Originally, women did not agree to pay me tuition fees. It happened that at that time, she encountered a problem. Because she was getting older, the level of men willing to come to her was getting lower and lower. Rascals also gradually increased. Just a few days after I argued with her about tuition fees, she met a hooligan who refused to pay and beat others.

The woman was beaten badly by that man, and her face was bruised and purple. I just read the novel indifferently in the next room the whole time.

"Little bastard! Your old lady is about to be beaten to death. Are you a dead person? Why don't you come out to help?" She scolded hysterically.

"What's the benefit of helping me? Apart from embarrassing me, what have you given me?" I asked her back.

"I gave birth to you! I gave birth to you! I have supported you until now!" The woman jumped angrily.

"I would rather not have been born by you, not this cheap life, and not have to bear so much shame!" I yelled back loudly. For more than ten years, I have been living a life of being discriminated against and isolated. Watching all kinds of men come to my house to sleep with my mother, believe me, this is not a life that people can bear, it is hell!
The woman was dumbfounded in the face of my yelling, and she held back for a long time before she said submissively: "Why don't you help me get the money back, and then I will give you tuition fees and let you go to a key high school, how about it?"

I was tempted, the key high school was far away from home, I fantasized that I could once again avoid gossip, avoid disdain and discrimination, and live and study like a normal person.

That day, I went alone to find the hooligan who beat up people without paying him.

When I graduated from junior high school, although I was only 16 years old, I was already 180 centimeters tall. When a sixteen or seventeen-year-old boy fights, he is often more ruthless than an adult.

As the saying goes, those who are stunned are afraid of those who are horizontal, and those who are horizontal are afraid of death.

I'm the one who doesn't die.My life was not within anyone's expectations, and my life did not make me feel happy. The only hope and way out is to escape from here and live in a place where no one knows my details. For this glimmer of hope, what do I do? They are all willing to let go.

That hooligan is obviously not as careless as I am. He just took a prostitute's accommodation fee, and it is impossible to take his life for this little money.

That night, I returned home with bruises all over my body, and threw a wad of money in front of the woman. It was her accommodation fee, plus the compensation I asked for from the hooligan.

I hope to cater to her mood as much as possible, so that she will be happy to pay for my tuition.

The woman looked at the pile of money that was obviously beyond her expectations, her eyes sparkled, it was the light of excitement, she asked me how I got back, I told her, I beat that hooligan half to death.

The funny thing is, after she heard this, instead of paying attention to my injury, she was very happy because she has a son who is very good at fighting.

That day she bought me a table of vegetables for the first time, with a very kind and kind attitude, but it was too late, I am not the little boy who still fantasizes about mother's love and blesses her, I just think that her reality makes me think laugh.

After the meal, I asked her for the tuition fee, but she regretted it.

Because she suddenly realized that it is safer for her to stay with such a son who can beat her. Letting me go out to study and keep her far away is not good for her.

After the negotiation failed, I overturned the table, and the residue of the food covered her body and face. I grabbed her by the collar and told her that if I paid the gangster I could beat, I could do the same to her.

My voice was squeezed out from between her teeth, and she trembled when she heard it.

The next day, I got my tuition fees and I was finally able to leave home and go to school.

When I arrived at the key high school and lived in the dormitory, I was quietly relieved.Although there is a lot of pressure to study here, I am happy to be away from the haze of my family.

I became that cheerful, optimistic, handsome gifted student again.In the first week of enrollment, the school conducted a preliminary examination. There was no suspense. I was No.1 in the grade.At this time, I have fulfilled the words of the woman’s pheasant friend. As I grow older, my appearance has become more and more outstanding. Even I sometimes wonder what kind of man the woman met in the past to conceive me. .

What kind of treatment would a boy with outstanding looks, good grades and elegant manners be treated in high school?Believe me if I don't say it, everyone knows it too.

Soon, the most beautiful girl in the class began to throw olive branches at me. I admit that at that time, I was a person who had little resistance to the temptation of the opposite sex. Just imagine, a girl who was despised and rejected for 16 years The person who was born suddenly became popular, and he was also a beautiful opposite sex. What a temptation this was for a young boy in adolescence.

I couldn't stand the temptation. I secretly communicated with that girl, and soon we had a relationship. I found that it was not the first time that she was there. I couldn't help but think of the woman at home, and felt a little weird. Yes, after that, I alienated her a little bit, she was very anxious, looking for every opportunity to pester me every day, for fear that I would get rid of her.These things will always involve energy. My grades began to decline, and the teacher talked to me. There is no need to be the leader.

One day after school at noon, as soon as I walked out of the teaching building, I was blocked by a few guys with sloppy faces.

It was the hooligan I beat up before, and he found someone to take revenge on me.

Being outnumbered is inevitable, and I was beaten badly. If the people from the school didn't come to drive the hooligans away, I'm afraid I would have been lying in the hospital for a long time.

After being beaten, things about me spread like wildfire, and my life experience, which I had been hiding so hard, became a secret that was not a secret. Everyone who saw me, their eyes changed to the way I was familiar with before. I was the one being provoked, and although the attitude of the school is no longer as enthusiastic as before, at least there is no reason to do anything to me.

However, God still deliberately wanted to play tricks on me. Within a few days, I was suddenly called to the Political and Education Office, and the school wanted to expel me from school.

I didn't know it, and the director of the political education department called out the crying Banhua, the ex-girlfriend who had been avoiding me since I was beaten.

"He raped me." This is how she told the director of the political and educational department: "It was him. He said that if I dare to tell others, he will make me look good!"

I was almost stunned, the beautiful girl I was really moved by, the beautiful girl who took the initiative to undress me, the beautiful girl who gave it to someone for the first time, she is standing in front of me now, Point at me and say I raped her!

Explanations are futile. One is a girl with both parents and an innocent net worth, and the other is a bastard whose father is unknown and whose mother is a prostitute. If it were you, who would you choose to believe?Even if I had to choose, I would still choose to believe in the former.

In this way, I was expelled. Before leaving, the director of the political and educational department said to me earnestly: "You are still young, considering your future and the woman's unwillingness to pursue it, we will write the reason in the reason for dismissal. If you fight and make trouble, you can take care of yourself in the future!"

I took my luggage, a letter of dismissal, and all my injuries, and returned home.

I didn't know until I got home, why did those hooligans go to the school?It turned out that the woman told everyone outside that she had a brave son who was studying in a certain high school, and if anyone dared to bully her, she only needed to make a phone call, and her brave son would rush back immediately.

Just like that, the hooligan who was beaten found out about my school, and found a group of people to take revenge on me, which led to the subsequent incidents.

I got angry and raged at the woman. She was so frightened to death that she swore that she wouldn't dare to swagger outside.

It just so happened that I received a notice asking me to apply for an ID card.I said to the woman, I want to change my name, I can't continue to live with a name that has been punished and dismissed, I want to take this opportunity to change a new name.

She agreed without saying a word, and helped me go through the relevant procedures, and changed the name on the account before getting the ID card. On the ID card, I finally got rid of the past me.

At that time, I already had a plan in mind, a plan to start a new life.

At that time, the woman didn't know that she was also in the plan, but she was the part to be eliminated.

(End of this chapter)

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