Affectionate trapping

Chapter 91 Difficult Life

The deep winter is ushering in, and the weather is getting colder and colder. The scattered dead leaves on the branches are blown by the wind, leaving only bare branches.

When there is no sun, the eyes are pale, only some holly plants in front of the window are still full of vitality.

Wenxi's consultation room is like another world from the outside world. She fiddled with the tender leaves of green radishes, and only returned to her seat when she heard the knock on the door.

Zhou Weilin walked in, haggard visible to the naked eye.

"Ms. Zhou, long time no see."

She sat on the chair and smiled palely: "Long time no see."

Zhou Weilin looked at Wen Xi's still rosy and beautiful face, and felt a little envious: "You still look so good."

What women care about most is their appearance. She recalled the fine lines and nasolabial folds around her eyes when she looked in the mirror this morning, and she felt more and more uncomfortable.

Wen Xi made a cup of scented tea for her, and pushed it over: "It's born from the heart, as long as you're in a good mood."

She tugged at the corner of her lips: "How could it be better?"

The atmosphere fell into silence, and Wen Xi asked aloud: "How is the relationship?"

"It's over with him. Although he still harassed me occasionally, he was very persistent at first, and I wavered, but in the end he became firm." She held a teacup to warm her hands, and said calmly while looking at the misty smoke: "My friends said I finally got it right once, but my family was very angry and we had several arguments."

"But my attitude was too firm, and they couldn't help it. Even the scumbag gradually stopped looking for me. I guess they gave up."

She couldn't tell whether it was relief or unwillingness, she was quiet for a moment, then lowered her head and took a sip of tea.

Wen Xirou asked: "Then what has caught you up recently?"

Zhou Weilin raised her head and continued to speak: "Later, the company said that there was a chance for promotion, but they just needed to go on a business trip for a month. The environment there was very difficult, so I went."

"Maybe it was because I was falling out of love and changed my environment again, so I didn't feel bitter. It's just that I was sad that after I came back, I didn't get promoted as I wished, but was squeezed out by the related households who came down from the air."

She sneered: "I used to not fight or snatch, so I took things lightly at work, but listening to their seemingly comforting official words, I felt very wronged for the first time. No one else was willing to work so hard for me." Fuck me, I was exposed to the wind and sun, and my skin deteriorated, and I was so easily squeezed out by others, I was really angry, and then I resigned."

"After resigning, I realized that I was impulsive. There are often grievances in society. How could I be so reckless?"

"But then things turned around, and I hired a job with a higher salary. I thought I was still capable, but this job was really hard, and the personnel relationship was complicated. I could still bear the physical fatigue. , but more because of the tiredness in your heart, you don't know when and which moment you offended your boss, and you don't know why you were suddenly targeted by your colleagues."

Her eyelashes trembled, "I was too depressed. I told my friends about my hardships, and they said that work is like this, and society is like this; when I told my mother, my mother said I asked for it, and advised me not to So capricious, let me go back and find the scumbag."

"Am I really being too hypocritical?" She raised her face, her eyes were flushed, but she stubbornly did not shed tears: "I don't know how to persuade myself."

Wen Xi asked: "Are you angry at work, or at your mother's attitude?"

She bit her lip and thought, "It's all of them. If you say that the more angry one is my mother's attitude, she always stands on the moral high ground, thinking that she is someone who has experienced it. When my actions are contrary to her thoughts, she will be firm." I think I was wrong, and I am very angry with her outrageous thoughts, and I am also angry that she does not understand me, and always imposes her own thoughts on me."

"What your mother is doing, it's called nurturing parenting in psychology, and it's a parental ego state where she's always saying things like, 'I'm doing it for your own good, I feel sorry for you' , to try to control you, a lot of parents do that, including a lot of people in their lives."

Zhou Weilin was a little dazed, "My mother always likes to say things like 'I'm doing it for your own good', but don't parents always say that?"

"Yes." Wen Xi chuckled: "But don't you think this kind of words is a moral kidnapping in another sense?"

"I am for your own good. From the perspective of equality between the two parties, it is convincing, but if it is one party's unilateral suppression of the other party, the meaning is different."

Zhou Weilin pursed her lips: "Actually, my boss also often said this kind of thing, saying that I am doing things for you, Barabara, and always like to draw big cakes for us."

"Painting cakes is a basic skill of capitalists, and most leaders and bosses will unconsciously be in the state of parental ego, trying to impose their own thoughts on you and judge your behavior."

Wen Xi paused and asked her: "When you face your mother's criticism, how will you react?"

"I would get angry and argue with her, and then break up, but every time I calmed down, I would regret it."

"Regret what?"

"I regret that what I said was not good enough at the time. If I hadn't been so excited, maybe the quarrel would have been won."

Wen Xi laughed: "Actually, when you quarrel with your parents, you will put yourself in the child's ego state again."

"what is that?"

Wen Xi explained: "Look, when we were young and we couldn't speak, we used crying to express our emotions. We cried when we were hungry, and wept when we were unhappy. You would unconsciously repeat the previous emotions and let the childish state take over without thinking. your heart, and then vent your emotions like you did when you were a kid."

"Oh..." Zhou Weilin probably understood, "But I really can't control it, I get angry when I hear her say those words, and I want to get angry."

"This is normal, but getting angry will not solve the problem, it will only intensify the conflict."

"But it's very uncomfortable to be bored. I think it's better to vent it."

"Emotions do need to be vented, but what we have to do is to behave like an adult, without being aggressive."

"How can you get angry without being aggressive?"

"There are many ways to vent your emotions. You can find an open place to yell out, or you can run a 3000-meter long-distance race. Tired, then all your emotions will fade away."

Zhou Weilin whispered: "But at that time, it's hard to control my emotions. I always feel that I don't feel happy if I don't vent it on the spot."

"Controlling emotions is indeed a very difficult thing." Wen Xi narrowed his eyes: "I used to always like to argue with my parents, I didn't understand some of their ideas, and I tried to persuade them, but after the dispute between the two parties, I found it to be of no use."

"I realized then, since they couldn't convince me, how could I convince my parents who lived 30 or [-] years longer than me?"

Zhou Weilin froze, her face even more frustrated: "You're right, it's like two hard bones, a head-on confrontation will only hurt both sides, and no one can convince the other."

(End of this chapter)