Help, they came out of my dream to catch me!

Chapter 90 Xia Ming, I'm Sorry, I...

The nun whose heart is pure like a piece of white paper rarely makes active requests to Xia Ming.

She always listened carefully to all Xia Ming's words, and tolerated all his good and bad thoughts and actions gently and calmly.

She seldom expresses her will, expresses her thoughts, and seldom asks Xia Ming to do something for her.

But what I have experienced in the past half a month, the bits and pieces I have experienced with Xia Ming, the witch, the believer...

Her heart matured faster than Xia Ming and everyone imagined.

When Xia Ming teased Ying Caiqing next door, she listened quietly.

Just now when Xia Ming asked her to cooperate with Ying Caiqing in doing those things, she cooperated obediently.

These days, the witch's voice of deliberately provoking discord has been ringing in her ears, laughing and mocking.

But she doesn't care.

She just kept thinking about a question.

Why, why, did she feel that Xia Ming was her peace of mind?

She thought of herself living like a doll when she was still in the town of Pala.

She thought of herself who was told the truth by Xia Ming in the form of a confession, and her heart was extremely shocked.

Everyone is just a doll, the way she looks at others, and the way others look at her.

At that time of confusion and emptiness.

There is only one person, only one person's eyes are so real, shining into her soul thoroughly and brightly.

What she longed for, what she sought... that peace of mind.

It turned out that it was just her empty and empty heart longing for the pitiful gaze.

Her peace of mind is when she feels that everything is vain and false, when someone sees her true heart through that false shell.

That gaze can still caress her tenderly again, watch her, and never leave.

This is the only anchor she can hold on to in this false yet real world.

This is what belongs to her, the real peace of mind.

She pulled Xia Ming to the bed and sat down, looking into his eyes intently.

"What's the matter, Xina?" Xia Ming asked back, looking into her eyes with a smile.

Her mind grew and changed so fast, Xia Ming's black and bright eyes seemed to be unable to see through the emotions in her heart, unable to see through her heart that was dyed with various colors.

So, let me express my true feelings.

Then, let me show him my heart that has been stained with various colors and has become no longer pure.

"Xia Ming, I..."

Her voice hesitated for a moment, as if hesitating, but immediately became resolute and certain.

"I feel jealous."

When she admitted this fact, the moment she uttered these words, a dark and heavy cloud that had been suppressed in her heart seemed to dissipate from her heart, making her subsequent words more fluent and smooth.

"From the moment I met you, you have always been different to me, you are sincere and warm, and you look at me with emotion. You never hide from me, and you treat everyone else as As a puppet air, I am your peace of mind, I am your uniqueness, I thought so until I saw the same emotional gaze on Ying Caiqing, I... I became jealous."

"I know, you just regard Ying Caiqing as a cute and pitiful child. You still have the same enthusiasm for me, you care about me, you never hide it, and you even work hard for me. I shouldn't care about such small things. , I shouldn't care that the tenderness and concern you have fallen on me have fallen on other people a little bit, but whenever I see your eyes falling on others, your pupils reflect the shadows of others, I ... jealous."

"Especially that night, when I saw your worried and anxious expression, and cared for her so tenderly, I seemed to have an illusion that one day she would take you away from me. At that moment, I not only Jealousy, and panic."

"Even after she was injured, you have to find time to go to the next door to tease her and talk to her every day these days. After you went to the next door, I sat by that wall and listened to the conversation between you and Ying Caiqing." Voice, imagining the interaction between you, I... jealous, panic, uneasy..."

"The sense of peace you brought me disappeared at some point, even those games designed to crush the dignity of the witch, the rewards you gave me, the physical touch between you and me, the communication between the skin..."

"I also seem to feel an illusion that you rewarded me not for me, but for dominating the witch, and being intimate with me, as if at that moment, even the witch could easily take you away from me and share your time .”

"How I wish you could look at me more and see my darkened heart. I am afraid of losing you. If I can't get it from the soul, then from the body..."

"But every time you reward me, it's just a taste of it. You say it's a training of my will. You say you want to play with the heart of the Crash Witch step by step. You have never really touched me further...you are So polite..."

"Xia Ming, looking at you now, a dark desire arises in my heart. I just want to possess you by myself, tie you by my side, and only look at me forever."

"I know that's not right. My heart desires and resists such an approach. Because I want to be your peace of mind, I want to tolerate all your sins and evils, so no matter what you think, do What kind of behavior you do, even if you are looking for a new love behind my back, even if you are abandoning me all the time, sharing your time and love with others at will, I must be gentle and tolerant, accepting with tolerance, But...but..."

"I found I couldn't."

She held Xia Ming's palm tightly, and for the first time, there was such a clear pain, so twists and turns, so complicated on that holy and beautiful dignified face.

She is not a doll without a heart, she also has her own desires and the complexity of human nature.

"The emotions of sharing you and having you exclusively are conflicting back and forth in my heart, but compared to these, a panic and guilt that is deeper and stronger than all previous emotions suddenly overwhelmed me, and I suddenly realized that I seem to be unable to be you I feel relieved, I don't want to lose you, seeing my eyes and love falling on other people, I can't tolerate all your thoughts and actions, I..."

"Xia Ming... Xia Ming..."

"Sorry, I……"

Hina shook Xia Ming's arm violently, choked up, and made a sound that was almost crying.

"I can't seem to be your comfort."

"I……"

"It seems that it has become something you didn't expect so much."

Under the cold moonlight, for the first time on that holy face that had never shed tears, crystal clear teardrops fell.

She was feeling guilty.

(End of this chapter)