Clearly, she doesn't want to be a concubine

Chapter 19

She didn't feel sad.

This world is like this, we always want others to love ourselves frankly and passionately, without any impurities.

However, there must be a reason for love in the first place.

Even if it is meeting among thousands of people, there is no reason, just the feeling of that moment.

But the feeling itself at that moment is already the reason.

She's stupid, but she's so conscious that she doesn't even have strong emotions.

She clearly knew that there was absolutely no love between them, it was nothing more than a psychological empathy, and the other could not resist.

What Kangxi loves is freedom and no shackles.

And she has it.

That's it.

She can't resist.

Just being involved, she almost died in the Tiejiaguan.

She is just an ordinary woman, she is neither bigger than the earth nor the sky, naturally she is bigger than the strict etiquette.

She can only survive in this environment by conforming to Kangxi and this era.

She knew it.

Kangxi's dense kisses fell on her neck, and she closed her eyes meekly, letting him do whatever he wanted.

Kangxi asked her: "It's not your fault, why do you admit it."

"Slaves...don't understand."

"Mr. Chen."

She closed her eyes without opening them, and said softly: "Since the slave has already been punished, there is no need for two people to be punished."

So, when she was slapped indiscriminately, because of Kangxi's whim, she was brought in front of Kangxi by Liang Jiugong, and she didn't make a single word of excuse.

Kangxi asked her softly and softly: "Do you want her to pay the price?"

His hands were free from her neck.

She said, "No, don't."

She knew that if she nodded and said yes right now, Chen Jiayi would definitely not fall behind.

But she herself has thought about this matter more than once in the gap of time-whether she wants to have power in her hands one day, and then take revenge.

She asked herself: why bother?
Why take revenge on others?
It is perfectly normal for Chen Jiayi to push the matter to her for fear of being punished.

It is human nature to seek advantages and avoid disadvantages.

She understands.

Because of understanding, so compassion.

After all, she is not the heroine of those Gong Douwen, she can't hurt others just because she is hurt.

If so, how is she different from these women who originally lived in this era and had to enter the palace.

When you hurt others in the same way that others hurt themselves, you are no different from others.

Others are hell?
To others, you are also others.Well, you're hell for everyone else too.

So, so be it.

Zhuangzi said: externalize but not internalize.

Her behavior, speech and behavior can conform to this era, but her thoughts can never conform to this era.

Compared with being hurt, Umalu is more afraid that one day she will become a part of this era from the inside out, and agree with this era from the bottom of her heart.

Then she would no longer be Umalu, but that Uyamalu.

She erased her past as an Umalu.

She even denied herself.

She doesn't want to.

Therefore, she wanted to remember from beginning to end that she did not come from here, nor did she belong here.

She can't forget where she came from, because if she forgets one day, she will forget where she came from and why.

A person who has forgotten his roots is nothing but rootless duckweed.

Even if the world is rich, it is still extremely sad.

She repeated softly: "Master, the slave is not willing."

Her neck was strangled by hands, and the pressing hands made her feel almost suffocated.

She didn't fight back.

Kangxi observed her expression, and didn't let go until she really felt overwhelmed.

She breathed lightly.

He buried her shoulder: "Malu, Erinzhu, what would you do without me."

She clung to his shoulders and remained silent.

For the first time, there was love and affection in his heart, which distinguished her from his other concubines.

The kisses fell densely.

The voice was mixed in the kiss: "What would you do without me."

She laughed and didn't answer, her smile was like a flower on the prairie.

She should belong to the blue sky and white clouds, the endless grassland, and the free wind.

Since then, the scenery is gorgeous and the water is shining.

Kangxi called her, naturally more than once.

Days like this lasted for a long, long time.

In the blink of an eye, it is winter.

Umalu was sitting in the tea service room, wearing a half-new plain green waistcoat, warming the fire there.

The door was opened and closed ajar, reserved for Little Meng Gonggong to send messages.

However, when it is cold, there is usually tea simmering in the inner room, and it is not often to send messages to the tea service office.

Kangxi was busy with affairs, maybe he hadn't passed on Umalu for a long time, Umalu was happy and quiet.

It was cold, and when I went back to the house, it was freezing badly.

They are the emperor's people. Although they have coal, there is not much to share. I don't know if it is because of Umalu's relationship that this year's coal is twice as much as usual.

They just have to save it.

Simply gather together, do some embroidery work, talk, and pass the time.

Looking at the charcoal fire, Ma Jiarongrong didn't waste it, and simply simmered soup on it to warm his stomach.

The boiled vegetables they ate for several days in a row were just hot.

Kangxi rewarded the dishes once every three to five days, and the dishes that were rewarded had been cold for a long time, so they had to be simmered before eating, so as not to cool the stomach, which would be troublesome.

It was meal time, and Eunuch Meng brought two dishes, and Umalu planned to cook them up after Ma Jiarongrong came back.

After waiting for a long time, Ma Jiarongrong has not come back yet.

Chen Jiayi really wanted to eat first, but her relationship with the other two people is really not good now. If there is no accident, she will stay in the tea house for the rest of her life, and there is really no need to anger these two people anymore.

With a net in her hand, she walked out the door and saw Ma Jiarongrong coming back.

Ma Jiarongrong originally had a smile on his face, but when he saw it was her, the smile on his face faded a little.

She came over with a food box and a package in her hand.

After entering the house, she simmered the dishes and ate.

The three of them ate a meal that was neither embarrassing nor embarrassing.

Ma Jiarongrong started to talk about the matter: "My mother-in-law sent me something, and I had to check it when I entered the palace, so it was a little late."

The two listened.

Ma Jiarongrong is originally a cheerful person, she said: "When I came back, I met the palace maid who entered the palace with me. She was working there often. We chatted for a while, and I compared them in private. Our charcoal fire here is comparable to a person who is always in the palace."

Everyone knew what was going on in their hearts, and no one answered, and this incident passed by itself.

Ma Jia Rongrong said: "She told me about the canonization. It is almost the day when the second elder brother will be officially canonized as the prince. She said that she is serving the master often, and she is worrying about what gift to give."

　"Elinzhu" in Manchu means "treasure girl"

　　Hai Lanzhu is a reluctant girl
　　
　
(End of this chapter)