Doctor of Healing

Chapter 381 Surviving
The sputum suction tube is a few millimeters in diameter and slightly hard, inserted from the mouth to the pharynx.

The moment the suction tube touched the mucous membrane of the nasopharynx, "I" suddenly started coughing forcefully, and countless secretions seemed to come out at the same time, overflowing from the nasal cavity and eyes, which was extremely uncomfortable.

The sputum suction tube was buzzing, and Ji Xiang also knew that it was the negative pressure suction that was sucking away the liquid accumulated in the respiratory tract, so that he could breathe more smoothly.

That is to say, but the stimulation generated by the suction tube entering the airway is extremely strong, and Ji Xiang does not feel any pleasure of smooth breathing, but enters a feeling of near death.

The feeling of near-death made "my" limbs twitch, and I tried my last bit of strength to stop the nurse from sucking sputum.

Ji Xiang never thought that he had experienced so much, and a small suction of phlegm made him miserable.

This degree of suffering is no less severe than other diseases.

"Hold the person down," the nurse said.

Ji Xiang was a little sad.

I have said what the nurse said, and even if I have experienced it, I should say it next time I encounter a similar situation.

But "myself" is really uncomfortable. There is a sharp contradiction between treating the disease and making the patient more comfortable.

My daughter immediately pressed her upper limbs and said in a crying voice, "Dad, hold on, just suck the phlegm out."

Then the suction tube was inserted deeper, through the nasopharynx and directly into the airway.

The sputum suction tube, which was originally just a little hard, turned into a wooden stick in the "self" feeling. Jixiang felt that his airway was filled with the wooden stick, and he couldn't suck in any fresh air.

And the wooden stick continued to suck the air away because of the negative pressure, which made me feel even more uncomfortable.

This is not saving yourself!

Ji Xiang felt that he was out of oxygen and his mind went blank.Although logically there should be no signs of hypoxia for such a short period of time, this is how it really feels.

The sound of sucking phlegm continued, and the upper limbs of "myself" were held down, and I tried my best to avoid it, but I couldn't do it at all.

Fortunately, the time did not last long. About 20 seconds later, after breathing and suctioning, the tube was flushed with saline to flush down the sputum in the tube to avoid blockage.

"There's too much phlegm, pay attention to tapping your back more often." The nurse was very careful, and she repeatedly taught "her" daughter how to turn over, tap her back, and expel phlegm.

Although these operations are also done at home, the daughter still listens patiently and asks for technical details.

Ji Xiang knew that "her" daughter loved her, so she was reluctant to leave like this.

When the parents are there, the home is still there.If the parents are gone, the family is gone.

In this journey of life, parents are very important coordinates.

But "I" really don't want to be a coordinate anymore.

It’s not just empathy, if it takes such suffering in order to survive in reality, Ji Xiang would rather give up.

At this moment, Ji Xiang didn't even bother to worry about how the pneumonia came from. He just kept thinking about how soon he could leave this world if the consumption was serious.

The daughter's attachment to herself and her efforts to keep herself in this "hateful" world are like torture.

Ji Xiang wanted to tell her that he was suffering, but his current strength couldn't support a conversation at all.

Like a fish thrown onto the shore, he struggled to breathe, gathered his strength, and prepared to bid farewell to his daughter.

But "I" was still too optimistic.

In less than half an hour, the nurse came again, this time she brought a feeding tube.

Putting down a gastric tube, pouring liquid food into the stomach... Ji Xiang knew what to do next, but he couldn't accept it when it was clear.

A tube slightly softer than the suction tube, but slightly thicker, is inserted through the nose.

Even if it is soft, "I" feel particularly uncomfortable.Especially when the gastric tube passed through the oropharynx, the nurse and daughter kept yelling in his ears to swallow, Ji Xiang really didn't want to continue.

But even if Ji Xiang didn't want to, the stomach tube was inserted.

Every time he swallowed saliva, the stomach tube would rub against the mucous membrane of the pharynx, which made Jixiang feel quite uncomfortable.

He remembered a story told by a brother during his internship—a patient with esophageal cancer could not bear the gastric tube after surgery. After all, there was a tube in the pharynx, which stimulated the swallowing action, which made the patient feel uncomfortable.

The patient removed the gastric tube by himself at night.

Because the operation for esophageal cancer has just been completed, if the gastric tube is inserted, it may cause anastomotic leakage. Doctors and nurses dare not insert it anymore, so they can only explain to the patient and the patient's family.

At this time, the patient knew that he was afraid, and begged hard, wanting to live.

But at that time, the conditions were limited, and there was no other way. The doctors and nurses were helpless and could only resign themselves to their fate.

In the end, the patient was lucky, and a pennant was sent on the day when the stitches were removed and discharged from the hospital.

Ji Xiang still remembers what the senior brother made fun of the patient--if I had known this day, why bother.

However, after experiencing it for himself, Ji Xiang realized that the stomach tube was really uncomfortable. Although it did not exceed his tolerance threshold for pain, this feeling was different from the previous illness.

Whether it's stones, fractures, or other diseases, Ji Xiang couldn't wait to see the doctor when he felt the same, and he wanted to see that Professor Zhou.

However, in the current situation, even if Professor Zhou came, there was nothing he could do. Ji Xiang knew this very well.

The "self" is dying, and no amount of external force can only delay it for a period of time, and cannot completely restore the "self" to health.

The point is - the longer the last period of time is dragged on, the more "self" will suffer.

This kind of life has no head, Ji Xiang lost in empathy for the first time.

A word appeared in Ji Xiang's mind - lingering.

He completely forgot the purpose of his visit, how he got the pneumonia was not important, he only cared about how "he" died.

I still remember that when I was in school, the teacher said that old Mr. Ba Jin was in pain before his death, and people around him told him that everyone who loved him hoped that he would live.

For this reason, Ba Jin had to force himself to express that no matter how painful it was, he would cooperate with the treatment.

But the great pain caused Ba Jin to mention euthanasia many times. After being rejected, he even got angry with his family, saying that he was disrespected.

Even Mr. Ba Jin said things like "I live for you" and "Longevity is torture to me".

Ji Xiang couldn't understand what the teacher said in class, but now he gradually understood, not only those words, but also why Mr. Ba Jin said that.

The pain continues unceasingly, life is worse than death.

The damn stomach tube will deliver nutrition every day, coupled with intravenous infusion, Jixiang feels that "he" has no chance to die quickly in a short time.

This has become a nightmare, deeply, leaving "myself" nowhere to escape.

The final outcome has been determined - death.

What about before death?Do I have to suffer like this?Ji Xiang didn't want to.

(End of this chapter)