Entertainment: The opening and the official announcement of the national goddess

Chapter 871

Zhang Xiao rolled his eyes and said, "What do you want is Mingbi?"

Wu Jin stared and said angrily, "Get lost."

Everyone laughed.

Li Liangjie said: "Zhang Xiao heard from Teacher Yu that you are going to perform on stage when Deyunju is sealing the performance?"

"That's right!" Zhang Xiao nodded, and said, "The book has already been written, I'll go through it tomorrow, and I'll be on stage the night after tomorrow."

Yu Qiandao: "I read your book, it's very good, the only problem is that it's too short."

"What I want is short!" Zhang Xiao said angrily: "Let me be like you, talk for half an hour, and I won't do it if you kill me."

Yu Qian sighed: "You guy, you obviously have a good cross talk skill, but you like to hide it and not show it, what a pity."

Zhang Xiaodao: "It's not hiding it, it's because I don't want to develop in this area. Crosstalk can be a hobby of mine, but it will definitely not become my profession."

"Besides, Teacher Yu, two bottles of wine will buy me seven or eight minutes of jokes. You have already earned Dafa, what else do you want?"

Yu Qian laughed and said, "That's true."

If Zhang Xiao is willing to go to the TV station to perform a program, the announcement fee will be at least 5000 million. Compared with the announcement fee of 5000 million, these two bottles of wine are really nothing.

Wu Jin said: "Teacher Yu, how many artists did Deyunju find to participate in the box-sealing performance? I thought we were the only ones."

Zhang Xiao was taken aback, looked at Wu Jin and said, "Brother Jin, do you want to go up and say something?"

"That's right!" Wu Jin nodded and said, "I'm just making a start, and behind are Xie Xiaonan and Xiaoyue."

Zhang Xiao snorted, and said: "I said, it's okay to let you go up and do boxing, but it's probably enough to talk about it."

Yu Qianfu said: "The main reason is his popularity, otherwise, we wouldn't be looking for him."

Hearing this, Wu Jin was immediately annoyed, and said: "Brother Qian, the bridge was demolished only after the river has been crossed. You are good, you demolished the bridge before people crossed the river. Don't you think it's a bit inappropriate?"

Yu Qian tapped himself lightly, and said with a smile: "Look at my mouth, I'm sorry, brother, I'll give you a good word after your performance is over."

"Pfft!"

Zhang Xiao really couldn't hold back, and laughed out loud.

The next day, Zhang Xiao and Yu Qian went through the joke from beginning to end, and slightly changed the parts that were inappropriate.

Yu Qian admired: "Zhang Xiao, it's a pity that you don't take the road of cross talk. Your creative ability is definitely at the level of a master."

Zhang Xiao said with a smile: "You are satisfied."

Soon, Deyunju's box-sealing performance once a year began.

As in previous years, Guo Xiaogang first said that he sent his apprentices to take turns to play.

Zhang Xiao watched a few programs in the background, nodded, and said: "Mr. Guo, Mr. Yu, their basic skills have improved a lot in the past two years!"

Guo Xiaogang said with a smile: "It takes hard work to be a master. They spend two hours every day practicing basic skills, plus performing non-stop on stage, this is how they have made some progress."

Zhang Xiao asked: "Are you forcing them to come?"

Yu Qiandao: "That's for sure. If you don't force them, it's no wonder they are so diligent."

Zhang Xiao smiled and said, "I think so too."

Soon, Wu Jin and Xie Xiaonan made their debut.

The two first talked with Xiaoyue for a while, and then Wu Jin stepped down. Xie Xiaonan talked to Xiaoyue for a while, which won the applause of the audience, and the effect was very good.

Zhang Xiao gave a thumbs up to Xie Xiaonan who had returned to the backstage, and said: "Sister Nan, you might as well join Deyunju, I think if you study cross talk carefully, you might be able to become the best female cross talk actor in the country. "

Yu Qian echoed, "That's right, Xie Xiaonan, you really have the potential to talk about cross talk, much better than Wu Jin."

Xie Xiaonan smiled wryly and said, "Let's forget it, I was so nervous on stage just now, if I didn't have a bit of host skills, and my brother Sun supported me, I'm afraid I'm doomed already."

Xiao Sun said: "Sister Nan, don't be modest, what you said is really good."

Guo Xiaogang said: "Stop boasting to each other, Brother Qian, Mr. Zhang, it's time for us to play."

Zhang Xiao smiled and said, "Teacher Yu, let's go!"

Yu Qiandao: "Let's go!"

The two came out from the backstage, and just after the announcement, the audience burst into applause.

Zhang Xiao, dressed in a black coat, bowed his hands to everyone together with Yu Qian to show respect.

Glancing at the microphone that Xie Xiaonan had used, Zhang Xiao turned it up and said, "Teacher Yu, I think it's best for us to use a mobile microphone in Deyunju in the future."

"Why?" Yu Qian immediately interjected.

Zhang Xiaodao: "It's too embarrassing. After Sister Nan finished speaking, the first thing I did when I came up was to adjust the height of the microphone. It seems that Sister Nan...isn't too tall!"

Yu Qian said angrily: "Why don't you say that everyone didn't think about it at all!"

"Hahahaha!" The audience laughed.

Xie Xiaonan was about to return to her seat, when she heard Zhang Xiao's words, she pointed at him and shouted loudly: "Zhang Xiao, you wait."

Zhang Xiao hurriedly said: "Sister Nan, don't be angry, you have to think this way, because I have come up, you have to raise it, what if Teacher Guo comes up, right? Doesn't this just highlight your height? right?"

"Hahahaha!"

"Woo~~~"

The whole scene was heated up by Zhang Xiao's few words.

Naturally, Guo Xiaogang didn't care about Zhang Xiao smashing himself up, and said to his apprentices: "See, this is a master-level cross talk performance, and a few words can mobilize the emotions of the audience."

Xiao Sun nodded and said, "It's really powerful."

After Zhang Xiao on the stage adjusted the microphone, he said, "Today is the box-sealing performance of Deyunju. Compared with other forms of performance, it is much more grand, as you can see from the backstage decoration."

Yu Qian asked in puzzlement, "What's wrong with the backstage?"

Zhang Xiao took out a cigarette from his pocket, put it on his ear, and said, "See, this is the top panda cigarette. It costs more than 300 per box. I took one, and I am not willing to smoke it."

"In addition, there is a bottle of more than 3000 wine. Mr. Guo said that after the performance, everyone will have a drink."

Yu Qiandao: "The Chinese New Year is coming soon, and it's the last performance of Deyunju. What's so special about getting some good cigarettes and wine?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "I don't have any other intentions. I mainly want to ask. With Mr. Guo's super stingy character, the cigarettes and alcohol can't be fake, right?"

"Super stingy?" Yu Qinqin laughed and said, "Brother, your description is really apt, but don't worry, it's true this time."

Zhang Xiao cut it, and said: "You can push it down, there is a fat man with a Lunan accent in the background, and he said the same thing."

Yu Qiandao: "Xiaoyue?"

"Yes, that's him!" Zhang Xiao nodded and said, "It took me a long time to understand the meaning of what he said."

Yu Qian asked, "What did he say?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "I asked if the cigarettes and alcohol were genuine, and he immediately replied: Brother Xiao, we made them ourselves, can they still be fake?"

"Pfft!"

"Hahahaha!"

"I made it myself, is it fake?"

"I'm sure Xiao Shen hung it first."

"This baggage is really good."

"···"

The audience at the scene all laughed.

Yu Qian didn't hold back either, and said with a smile: "Our Deyunju children are so sincere!"

Zhang Xiaodao: "To be honest, I am quite envious of you."

Yu Qian knew that he was going to get to the point, and asked, "Why do you envy us?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "I'm envious of your work. You only move your mouth but don't move your hands. After finishing the cross talk, you don't have any injuries on your body."

Yu Qian frowned, and said: "Why does this sound a little strange to me, you plan to let us see blood after we finish the cross talk, right?"

Zhang Xiao sighed, and said: "The main thing is to lament my work, I really can't compare with you!"

Yu Qian asked, "What's the matter?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "Two of us in three days were beaten until our noses were blue and our faces were swollen."

"Oh, you took part in boxing."

"It's too old to die!"

"Antagonism is strong!"

"The risk is too great!"

"That's called spirit!"

"Never mind."

"Get used to it."

"For fear of being caught."

"Then you have to hide quickly."

"If you catch them, beat them to death!"

"Then it's a foul."

"He doesn't care about you. Just a few days ago, six young men hung me up and beat me, cursing and swearing while beating me."

"How did you scold?"

"Let your kid steal the wallet!"

"Hahaha!"

After Zhang Xiao and Yu Qian made a lot of preparations, this package sounded very beautiful.

The audience knows how to lean forward and backward.

On the stage, Yu Qian said, "Oh, are you a thief?"

Zhang Xiao said dissatisfiedly: "You see, you are such an educated person, and you say such ugly words, what is a thief!"

Yu Qian asked: "Then I should call you..."

Zhang Xiao replied solemnly: "He took out the bag~"

Yu Qian let out a hi, and said, "Isn't it the same?"

"Hahaha!" The audience laughed again.

Zhang Xiao said: "I've had enough. In order to steal this little thing, I've been useless all day long, shrinking secretly, trembling, and living a life that is not at all chic."

"It's enough for me. I regret how I became a thief?"

Yu Qian said, "It's good to understand, old uncle."

Zhang Xiao changed the subject and said, "It's better than blocking the road and robbing!"

"Pfft!"

"Hahaha!"

No one expected such a sentence to burst out of Zhang Xiao's mouth.

"Really, if you are caught robbing, you will be shot, so you don't have to suffer so much."

Yu Qiandao: "Hey, let me tell you, as long as you make up your mind to correct it, I will do my best to help you."

Zhang Xiaodao: "Okay, Teacher Yu, you have said everything, but let me wash my hands and quit, and they won't go around me."

Yu Qian asked, "Did you join a hooligan gang?"

Zhang Xiao said dissatisfied: "How can it be called a gangster? I joined a thief company."

Yu Qian was taken aback, and said, "The Thief Company?"

Zhang Xiao nodded and said, "The full name is Thief Financial Co., Ltd."

"Hahahaha!" The audience laughed.

Yu Qiandao: "How many people are there in your company?"

Zhang Xiao said: "More than 100 people!"

Yu Qian exclaimed, "More than 100 thieves?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "Not all of them are thieves, we are the only two who really insist on working on the front line."

Yu Qian asked, "What about the others?"

Zhang Xiao replied: "It's all management."

Yu Qian showed a strange look, and said, "Your thief company still has management?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "Look at what you said, the train runs fast, it all depends on the headband, the management takes the lead, the thief is motivated, if the thief doesn't manage, the thief must not be able to steal well, either he cannot steal it, or he cannot run away."

"Pfft!"

"Hahaha!"

Countless viewers burst out laughing.

Yu Qiandao: "Then what kind of management are you all doing?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "That's a lot of management, one general manager, 48 deputy managers."

Yu Qian said, "48 deputy managers?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "Each one manages a share."

Yu Qian asked, "What do you care?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "Some are in charge of administration, some are in charge of organization, some are in charge of publicity, some are in charge of logistics, and some are in charge of family planning..."

Yu Qian hurriedly stopped her and said, "Wait, does your thief company still have family planning?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "Look at what you said, the whole country is a game of chess, and we thieves are no exception. Otherwise, everyone will have a family planning rate, and we thieves will give birth casually. The big head will give birth to thieves. Come less and less, who are we going to steal?"

"Hahaha!" The audience burst into laughter.

Yu Qian was also happy, and said: "Mingai, you are doing this for the balance of the ecology!"

Zhang Xiaodao: "Of course, this is all on the upper level. When it comes to the lower level, the division of labor will be more detailed."

Yu Qian asked, "How?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "Let's talk about the security department!"

Yu Qian interrupted him, and said, "No, wait a minute, what does your thief company want the security department to do?"

"It's so necessary." Zhang Xiao said: "More than 100 thieves gathered together. If there is no security department, then there is something in the company, and it will disappear in a blink of an eye?"

"Our company issued the No. [-] notice to the thieves this year, clearly stating: The more you talk about the thieves' den, the more you need to strengthen the anti-theft work."

"Hahaha!"

"Oh, I'm going, I'm laughing to death."

"The more the den of thieves, the more we need to strengthen anti-theft work. You are right!"

"···"

The audience applauded and laughed.

Zhang Xiaodao: "Of course, these are commonly used institutions. If there is a central task, many temporary institutions will have to be added."

Yu Qian asked, "What kind of institutions are there?"

Zhang Xiao said: "That's too much, you seem to be in the Spring Festival, you have to set up a spring bandit office, right?"

Yu Qiandao: "What, Spring Bandits?"

Zhang Xiao explained: "During the spring, the office was raided and stolen, referred to as the Spring Bandit Office."

"Hahaha!"

Yu Qian asked, "What about Women's Day on March [-]?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "Establish the Female Bandit Office."

"What about June [-]st?"

"My child steals!"

"There is no delay during the holidays."

Zhang Xiaodao: "Don't tell me, during the holidays, variety shows have become popular in recent years, we have set up a comprehensive robbery office, and our director will come to the scene in person."

Yu Qian asked, "Who is your director?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "Don't tell anyone else, I'll only tell you, our director is... Yang Mi!"

"Hahahaha!"

The scene burst into laughter.

Yu Qiandao: "It's her!"

Zhang Xiao said disdainfully: "Actually, she knows a lot of shit, but this person is superfluous. In the first few years, the company said it would be streamlined, but the more streamlined it is, the more people there will be."

"I can't help it, they all came through the back door through the relationship, and the superiors took photos, so I have to be a manager."

"We are a very business-oriented company. It doesn't mean that an individual can be a manager when he comes to work with us. An amateur leads an expert, and none of his subordinates will be safe."

"If you say this person is good, if your superiors say no, if you say this person is not good, if your superiors say yes, you will not be angry."

"We circulated a pair of couplets, which can explain this problem too well."

Yu Qian asked, "What couplet?"

Zhang Xiaodao: "The upper couplet is: If you say you can do it, you can do it, and you can't do it!"

Yu Qiandao: "What about the next couplet?"

Zhang Xiao said: "If you say no, you won't do it, and you can't do it!"

Yu Qian: "Horizontal criticism?"

Zhang Xiao stared, tightened his fists, and said: "I can't accept it!"

(End of this chapter)