departure tomorrow

Chapter 51 The Scar in My Heart
Su Nan had a very long dream.

Su Nan saw the scene of herself and her grandfather in the park when she was a child.

"Nan Nan, there is an opera singer in front, shall we go over there?" Grandpa took Su Nan's little hand and acted like a baby.

"Oh, grandpa, there are also over there, follow Nan Nan, don't you believe Nan Nan?" The little Su Nan pointed to the barbecue stand not far away.

"Hahahahaha, does Nan Nan want to eat barbecue?" Grandpa smiled and pulled Su Nan to the barbecue stand.

"Grandpa, I want to eat sausage." Su Nan stood on tiptoe with difficulty and looked at grandpa cautiously.

"Okay, okay, here are two sausages." Grandpa smiled and said to the proprietress.

"Is this your granddaughter? She's so cute." The proprietress said while taking the sausage.

"Yeah, you're so smart, you just started the big class." Grandpa smiled and stroked Su Nan's mushroom head.

Su Nan also looked at Grandpa with a smile.

After taking the barbecue, Su Nan took grandpa's hand to listen to the opera.

"The birds on the tree are in pairs ~ The green water and the green hills bring a smile ~ Pick off a flower ~ My wife and I have a hair ~"

The old man on the lawn sang the song affectionately, and the grandfather watched it fascinated, and sang a few words along with it from time to time.

Su Nan ate the sausage and looked at her grandfather suspiciously, "Grandpa, does it sound so good?"

Grandpa smiled and said to Su Nan, "Of course."

The scene changed, and I came to grandpa's house again.

Su Nan ran out of the firewood shed crying, "Grandpa, grandpa, there are cows."

At that time, there was a cow at home, and Su Nan was afraid and liked to watch it. She went to see the cow while it was asleep, but she didn't expect the cow to wake up.

Su Nan cried and ran behind her grandfather.

"Hahahahahahahaha, Nan Nan is not afraid, I will cook beef for you then." Grandpa patted Su Nan on the shoulder to comfort him.

Su Nan looked at her grandfather crying, "Don't eat cows."

"Okay, okay, let him go to plow the fields later." Grandpa patted Su Nan on the head.

Su Nan nodded and ran into the house, not daring to look at the cow.

The scene changed again, and it came to Su Nan's tenth birthday, which was Su Nan's first time to put on makeup, and she devoted herself to preparing for one thing.

Because none of the invited friends came, I prepared a bunch of gifts and could only give them to myself.Su Nan was very sad that day, sitting on the stairs sad.

Grandpa came over and squatted down to pat Su Nan's head, "Don't be sad, Nan Nan, Grandpa is your friend."

Su Nan looked up at her grandfather with teary eyes.

"Nan Nan is so beautiful today, don't cry, it's not good to cry." Grandpa carefully wiped away Su Nan's tears.

Su Nan stopped crying, yes, it won't look good after crying.

Su Nan stood up and held Grandpa's hand, "Okay, then let's go eat."

The scene changed, and I came to grandpa's house again. It was the time of the Chinese New Year.

Grandpa quietly pulled Su Nan into the room.

"Don't talk about it, grandpa will give it to you alone." Grandpa suddenly gave Su Nan a big red envelope.

Su Nan was also unceremonious and hurriedly stuffed the red envelope into his pocket.

"Don't tell your parents, save it for yourself and spend it slowly." Grandpa patted Su Nan's head, "My dear."

Su Nan nodded seriously, "Good grandpa."

After grandpa left, Su Nan took it out and counted the money, "One hundred~two hundred~three hundred~four hundred~five hundred~six hundred~wow~"

Su Nan hid quietly.

She has used this money for a long time, and it has been used to buy things like spicy sticks.

It was one of the few joys of her childhood.

The screen turned again, to a few years ago.

At this time, my grandfather had already suffered from Alzheimer's disease, which was so severe that he didn't recognize him and was often incontinent.

And Su Nan has grown up and gradually lost contact with her grandfather.

Grandpa came to his home from his hometown that day, and suddenly fell ill when he went downstairs.

She kept clamoring to see her son, was waiting for her son, and didn't go anywhere.

Su Nan managed to persuade Grandpa to let him sit at his house.

I kept saying along the way, girl, you are so kind, you must come to my house to play next time, my son also lives here, we are so destined.

Su Nan couldn't help feeling a little emotional, it has been two years since grandpa left...

I remember that Su Nan wrote a diary about this time after that day, what did he write...

When the screen turned, it really showed the scene of writing a diary that day.

This?Do what you want, as if someone is manipulating it.

Su Nan leaned forward to have a look.

I was a little sad. When I went downstairs yesterday, I saw my grandpa standing on the stairs.I let him go up, but he didn't.I didn't think much about it at first.I just thought that Grandpa wanted to wait for Dad to come back and go up together, so he called Dad.Let grandpa go up with me.But he was still alone, talking and talking, saying what his son told him to wait for him here, he wanted to go home, but he couldn't remember where home was.I told him, it's okay, I remember I'll take you home.He left with me and kept thinking about going home. When he got home, he sat on the sofa and let me sit. Don't be too polite. He told me to go to his house next time to play, and said he was bothering me. Send him home, he doesn't even remember me, is this dementia?Is this the price of getting old?Grandpa, who used to be vigorous and strong in the past, now looks so small and helpless, even a little desolate, he doesn't even remember who he is.I suddenly felt that I was very unfilial. I seldom went to see my grandpa. When I went, I only went to hang out with my neighbor’s elder brother. I didn’t care much about him. I often said that I didn’t like my grandpa.But I also feel that they are going too far. They are obviously my father, but they push back and forth the responsibility of taking care of my father. They only care about money all day long, and they fight between father and son and brothers because of this.They are obviously related by blood, aren't they the closest people in the world?Isn't the best and most reliable person in the world relatives?Isn't home a haven?Although grandpa is at fault, but he is the father, who has raised them for nearly 50 years, just because of dementia, is it like this?This is the first time I feel the danger of human nature, I never want to have contact with those people.I hope grandpa can live a little longer.His dementia can be cured.Become that vigorous and resolute again, with a tough body.Cheerful grandpa.

2019.1.14
Su Nan looked silent. Who would have thought that just a few months later, the grandfather who lived in the nursing home would fall to his death in front of the police station because he wanted to go home and couldn't find his way. In the cold wind, on New Year's Day .

"Are you okay?"

Su Nan regained his composure, it turned out to be a hero.

Looking around, the little Su Nan who was sitting and writing a diary has disappeared, leaving only an empty home.

"This is?" Su Nan asked suspiciously.

"Didn't you always miss..." Da Xia said, but he didn't know how to say it.

Su Nan smiled bitterly.

"There's only so much I can do for you." The hero looked at Su Nan.

"But it's just a fake after all... Thank you, hero." Su Nan thought about the hero.

"Su Nan, people have to look forward." The hero smiled at Su Nan and disappeared.

Su Nan didn't slow down, "Oh...you..."

Suddenly the scene began to change again, Su Nan stood there and watched.

Everything together is like a revolving lantern, setting off fireworks with grandpa...cooking for grandpa...being scolded and crying by grandpa...grandpa can't remember the way home...grandpa can't sleep in the middle of the night to organize things for himself... Secretly stuffing myself with delicious food... I walked all day from my hometown to see myself... A few days before my death, I didn't go to see my grandpa because I was out with friends...

Will the ending be different if I go there... Su Nan always thinks so...

Scenes of scenes were quickly displayed in front of Su Nan...

"Grandpa..." Su Nan wanted to reach out and touch him.

But everything seemed to be shattered, the picture spread out in all directions, and with a snap, it was completely shattered...

"No..." Su Nan cried and shook her head.

Finally disappeared...

Su Nan stretched out her hand, only the boundless darkness.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw the ceiling of the hospital.

Su Nan turned her head to look at her sleeping mother, and wiped away the tears from her eyes. How long has it been...

It seems to be slowly... Su Nan has forgotten the voice of his grandfather, and even his face is gradually blurred. Su Nan is thinking desperately, but he can't remember anything...

What to do... seems to be forgetting...

Su Nan sat up and patted her head...

Grandpa, where are you now, I miss you so much...

Su Nan looked out the window, the foggy sky was like the day when a decision was made...

It is always a scar in Su Nan's heart...

Grandpa, since you left, your granddaughter is getting worse...

Su Nan wiped away the tears falling down...

Grandpa, I might come to accompany you...

(End of this chapter)