I smashed the emperor's daughter

Chapter 2 Never heard of such an outrageous request

After only being absent-minded for a moment, the little emperor regained his clarity, and then asked impatiently: "How did you know this? I claim to be perfectly impeccable."

Seeing that the woman in front of him didn't seem to have the tendency to silence him immediately, Li Yuntang's mind became alive, and he shouted softly:
"My lord."

Then he pouted his mouth downwards, and probed in a discussing tone:
"Can you remove the firecracker first, this thing is stuck in a vital place, in case it goes off..."

The little emperor paused at first when he heard the words, and after thinking for a while, he retracted the firecracker, took off the firing powder on the fire cap of the firecracker body, and at the same time gave Li Yuntang a white look, "This firecracker is not loaded with projectiles, even if the trigger is pulled, it will cause damage." It won't do much harm."

Li Yuntang secretly heaved a sigh of relief, thinking that the Son of Heaven is still a bit modest, and then replied honestly:
"This is actually the conjecture of the servant girl..."

"guess?"

This answer obviously did not satisfy the emperor, so she followed up and asked, "Where does the evidence come from?"

Li Yuntang did not respond directly, but stretched out his index finger to point out the Nuan Pavilion, and at the same time told the ins and outs:
"Didn't the emperor issue an imperial decree to let the slaves and servants go to the clean room used by the emperor in the palace, in case there are too many people to be distracted when going to the toilet outside, and the identity of the fake eunuch is exposed?

It was on the newly replaced flush toilet in the clean room that the slaves discovered something strange. "

"What's so strange?" The little emperor pressed his words step by step, without giving Li Yuntang a chance to stop.

"Your Majesty, the toilet is made of wrought iron, but the level of rust on the upper layer of the toilet base is different. The area covered by the toilet seat is as clean as new, and the area without the toilet seat is slightly rusty. The seat circle is the boundary, and there is a clear distinction..."

"You might as well speak more clearly!"

After listening for a long time, the little emperor didn't hear the main point, and the unhappy little emperor directly interrupted Li Yuntang's words.

Prompted by this, Li Yuntang had no choice but to simplify his sentences in his mind and speed up his speech to solve the emperor's confusion:
"This shows that the seat of the toilet has been put down for a long time, which will lead to differences in the degree of corrosion due to the difference in whether the same place is exposed to the outside. "

The little emperor did not question Li Yuntang's chemical theory, but he did not agree with the causal relationship before and after the incident:
"Only because a toilet seat has been put down for a long time, can you conclude that I am a woman?"

"Of course it can be confirmed!"

After replying this sentence confidently, Li Yuntang realized that he was a little disrespectful. He raised his head and glanced secretly, seeing that the emperor was not angry, he continued to explain:
"This is actually because the emperor, as a woman, doesn't understand men too well; all men in the world, as long as they can stand up to urinate, they will never choose to sit.

The frequency of urination is much higher than that of major urgency, so for the convenience of use, it must be normal for a man living alone to turn up the toilet seat; and in this case, the degree of corrosion of the toilet base should be the same. "

There is another sentence that Li Yuntang held back in his heart. Today's iron toilets have no top cover and only a seat ring, so the situation that the cover ring is closed together to prevent pollution like the later generations does not exist.

Hearing this, the emperor finally understood Li Yuntang's complete reasoning train of thought, and while shaking his head, he said to himself: "It turned out that something went wrong here..."

After pondering for a while, she continued in a rather helpless tone:
"This flush toilet can only be used by the very rich and very noble families. If you look at the entire Forbidden City, you may be the only one who is both a nobleman of the Qin Dynasty and a man who can see the clue."

After all, the little emperor paced back and forth in the warm pavilion; sometimes raised his head to contemplate, sometimes lowered his head in thought, as if he was still worried.

Li Yuntang's kung fu of observing words and expressions was quite strong, and he understood almost instantly that the emperor was worried about how to deal with him. After a little thought, he opened his mouth and made a side note:
"If there is no emperor to rescue, I am afraid that the servants will become lonely ghosts, how can they hide in the palace and be a fake eunuch?"

These words were not loud, but when they fell into the little emperor's ears, he suddenly understood:
If her identity as a woman is exposed, the throne will be lost; but in the same way, Li Yuntang lost the protection of the emperor, and he could not get past the annual eunuch inspection, and he would die in the end, so he definitely had no reason to betray himself.

In the dark, the fate of the two is closely related.

Thinking of this, the little emperor couldn't help giving Li Yuntang a high look—he didn't make any useless oaths in front of her, but clarified the facts and stated the pros and cons with a few light words, which can be regarded as quite astute.

Seeing that the emperor's face softened, Li Yuntang's hanging heart finally fell to the ground. He immediately struck the iron while it was hot and expressed his loyalty:
"The grace of the emperor for saving his life, even though the slaves and maids tied straws, they couldn't repay..."

The little emperor raised his hand slightly, indicating that there is no need to say more in such a situation, and then looked Li Yuntang up and down, "It is unnecessary to tie a grass ring, but right now I do have something that no one in the palace can do except you. "

Li Yuntang secretly scolded himself that he shouldn't be superfluous, but he didn't dare to make mistakes on the surface, and even pretended to be more submissive than before: "The emperor just orders, and the slaves will definitely do their best!"

The little emperor didn't answer, turned around and walked to the couch in the Nuan Pavilion, and sat down on the edge of the bed; then rested his chin on his left hand, and stretched out his index finger with his right hand to tick in the direction where Li Yuntang was standing.

The latter comprehended, and hurriedly approached, just squatting firmly, the little emperor's deliberately low voice came to his ears:

"If the old emperor hasn't come to heaven, I'm afraid I'm already married to the crown princess."

Li Yuntang was puzzled why the Son of Heaven said such a sentence out of nowhere, and immediately speculated about the holy will in his heart, but before there was any result, the voice next to his ear continued:
"Unfortunately, the late emperor, who was at the peak of his spring and autumn, passed away suddenly. Many matters have not been explained and the aftermath has not been dealt with. Among them, the most important thing is my marriage!"

Having said that, Li Yuntang finally heard the implication:
This little emperor is a woman, and when he meets the queen who is also a daughter on the wedding night, he can only stare blankly...

One day or two is fine, but if you stay away from the queen for ten days and a half months, it will be strange if you don't show your feet.

At the same time, a disrespectful thought popped into his head—if the old emperor hadn't passed away, would the solution to this matter be for his daughter...

Seeing Li Yuntang in front of him seemed to be a little distracted, the little emperor coughed lightly, pulled his thoughts back, and then ordered in a weak mosquito voice:
"So what I want you to do is—"

"When I got married—"

"Sleep with the queen for me!"

puff!
Cough, cough, cough!

Li Yuntang, who was slandering the emperor Daxing, never expected that the little emperor could even say such absurd methods, he couldn't get his breath out of his chest, and coughed violently.

Accompanied by the cough, there were many thoughts in his mind arising from the incident:
I've never heard of such an outrageous request!
What kind of operation is greening yourself?

After 200 years, all the five greens in the Central Plains will have to worship you as their grandparents.

……

Seeing that Li Yuntang was choking and coughing, the little emperor covered his mouth, then saw the unconcealable surprise on the latter's face, and explained again:
"Yuntang, I only made this decision because I was afraid that there would be nothing I could do at that time. Now the Zi Palace of the late emperor is still in the Meishan Shenyu Palace; it is expected that the newly selected wedding date will be at least three months or at most half a year from now.

I will try my best to come up with a way to satisfy both ends, so as not to embarrass you..."

Difficult?
After the initial surprise, Li Yuntang didn't feel embarrassed at all; on the contrary, he was a little bit——

little look forward to!
That is the empress who is in the middle palace and the mother of the world. Not to mention how she looks, this status alone is enough to attract people's imagination.

What's more, it's someone else's wife...

How exciting.

Of course, the risks involved are not small. For example, it is difficult to "change the civet cat for the prince" quietly; if the queen finds out, then he and the emperor may not end well.

After contemplating the pros and cons for a long time, Li Yuntang finally made up his mind.

Anyway, I can't escape, so if I agree, I will not only have the opportunity to kiss the queen's beauty, but also win an impression in front of the emperor.

Then he stood up suddenly, clasped his hands together, and said a righteous speech on his mouth:
"In the past, Jie Zitui cut his shares to serve Jin Wengong, and the past dynasties have been praised endlessly. Although Yuntang is a fool, he knows how to worry about the king. And the emperor's orders are more to be obeyed.

Not to mention the empress Dai Xing, even if she feeds a tiger with her body, she can't count her heels! "

(End of this chapter)