100 Reasons to Kill My Husband

(17)

Yu Haiqiao is a shameless dog who is habitually shameless. He will follow me out the next day, sitting next to my dressing table while I am putting on makeup, rolling up my sleeves and choosing the lipstick number for me.

He chose one of them for a long time, and with the tone of the counter brother, he recommended to me: "This color is very good for you, looks particularly good, and it also matches your clothes today. Painted on you. The aura exploded, and one eye could shoot a whole group of people to death."

Hearing this, I stopped my eyeshadow hand and looked at him silently for two seconds: "Do you really want to put on makeup? Are you a straight man?"

Yu Haiqiao blinked when he heard the words, and then made a disgusting look at me with a shy face: "Don't you know if people are straight?"

"..." I stared at him disgustingly for about two seconds and then made a suddenly realized expression at him, "Understood, no wonder you..." That didn't work.

Before I could say the last half of my words, Yu Haiqiao stopped me very solemnly like a prophet: "Shut up!"

I snorted and declared to him very severely: "Stop slaps in front of me in the future. No matter what you say, I will call you that..." No.

Before I said the main words, Yu Haiqiao immediately stopped me and said, "Shut up!" He stood up beside me with a hateful expression, "If you **** tell me that there is an accident, you It's over Shi Ran, you will be ruined in your next life, and you will be over!" He warned me cautiously, and then walked out of the room angrily.

After he left the room, I looked at myself in the mirror and made a V in my heart. Then I continued to paint myself eye makeup with great interest. The colors I chose for the eyeshadows were all colors I rarely used in my daily life.

I finally know why Yu Haiqiao’s mouth is so cheap. A cheap mouth means that you will always win when you slap your mouth. The joy of victory is so happy. Thanks to Yu Haiqiao for letting me learn such a great truth. , I will work hard to learn from him in my future life, increase my efforts, strive for the blue to outperform the blue, shoot Yu Haiqiao to death on the beach, and raise our married life to another new height.

I pack up and go out. Yu Haiqiao is sitting on the sofa and touching his computer. I suspect that he should have work to deal with. The expression on his face is more serious than usual. To be honest, Yu Hai There are only two advantages for this person in the bridge. One is that he is tall enough, and the other is that his face is really good.

He was secretly photographed by school girls when he was in college, and it was still under my own witness.

At that time, I happened to go to his school to play with him. I saw someone taking pictures on the road with him. I looked at it for a long time and found that the angle didn’t look like taking a selfie. I thought I was taking pictures of me at the time. What's the situation in their school, stretched out his finger to poke Yu Haiqiao: "Do you think that person is taking pictures of me secretly?"

Yu Haiqiao turned his head and glanced at the girl who was taking pictures. He habitually squinted his eyes slightly to see things. After watching for a while, the girl silently put the phone down and put it back in his pocket, before he retracted his gaze and turned his head to look. I glanced at me and asked me in a little surprise: "What is it worth taking a sneak shot?"

I glared at him: "Otherwise, I will shoot you?"

He casually slid his gaze over the girl who was about to leave, and said casually: "I'll shoot if you can." After finishing speaking, he took a few steps to chase the girl.

I don’t know what to say to the girl. After I walked over, the girl took out her phone and deleted the photo. She also apologized. Yu Haiqiao, a dog/force, said gently, "Next." Don't do this again."

"..." I rolled my eyes silently.

After the girl left, Yu Haiqiao glanced at me: "You, Shi Ran. My background has been blurred into a cloud of indistinguishable material colors."

I immediately went up and said, "You are stupid/what's so awkward about this!"

He lowered his mouth and smiled at me very loudly: "Anyway, at least it proves that I am handsome and worthy of being in the lens. Oh yes, she just said that someone was watching me in their bed, and she wanted to help take a picture. I went back to the photo and asked which department it was from. I just asked for the contact information, saying that I would never do this kind of thing again."

I looked at him with disgust and shook my head very sadly and sighed: "Your school is over, the girls are blind."

Yu Haiqiao snorted and came to me very decisively: "Jealous."

I snorted even louder: "What are you jealous of? I am a beautiful girl who is about to start dating in the near future jealous of you as a single?"

Yu Haiqiao took a look at me when he heard the words, and he tweeted, almost exaggeratingly speaking in a dramatic accent, "God is the art next door that looks shorter than you, and whose musical aesthetics is so bad that I can't bear to look directly at it." School, music student?"

My naked body is 172 cm tall, and I don’t know if I have continued to grow taller in the past two years. This height is indeed very tall among girls. When I was in high school, almost half of the boys in my class were not as tall as me, and the other half The boy of's is almost the same height as me. I think it is because of my height that I missed the opportunity to fall in love with me.

Yu Haiqiao, the dog/force, always criticizes my potential target like this. Once I went on a blind date with someone. After dinner, Yu Haiqiao happened to be nearby with a friend. I was thinking about how to leave the blind date after dinner without being rude. Subject, casually asked Sheng Yu Haiqiao where is Yu Haiqiao, the address he sent me happened to be less than ten minutes away from me, I immediately sent him my address, he is a dog / forced to ask knowingly Asked me whether I was coming to take you home, I coldly replied with the word "may" indifferently. A few minutes later, this person called, and I said goodbye to my blind date with embarrassment and smile immediately. After I got out of the restaurant, the dog / forced the car to drove the double flash and stopped at the restaurant door to wait for me, before I walked over. After sitting in the car, he glanced behind me very deliberately, and then tweeted: "What's the matter, Shi Ran, can't you compare yourself to a man who is taller than you?"

"..." I was thinking in my heart what I was thinking about, but I can't figure out what height, weight, and character the other party is about the blind date. But it is impossible for me to talk to Yu Haiqiao like that. My life is not to make Yu Haiqiao wishful. Anyway, when I am not wishful, I cannot make him wishful. I stretched out my hand and stroked my hair, feeling deeply to him. I got up, "No way, I might just like men who are about the same height as me. After all, I don't need to stand on tiptoe or even raise my head when kissing. I can kiss someone who is shorter than me."

Yu Haiqiao let out a disgusting "噫", not knowing if it was filled with such a scene in his head, and his face was disgusting.

As a result, this dog/force didn't pay much attention to me until he drove to my door. When I said goodbye to him, he deliberately pressed the window when he got out of the car and poked his head out of the car to look at me. Sigh with me: "Shi Ran, you have known me for so many years, why can't you improve your aesthetics? I really don't want to have friends with such a weird and terrible aesthetic."

With a jump of my eyebrows, I wanted to ridicule him and said that everyone has everyone’s aesthetics and hobbies. This dog/forcing closed his car window without waiting for me to refute, then the car started slowly and drove away, leaving me Take a mouthful of car exhaust.

I immediately took out my cell phone and dialed him. He connected the phone and vomited out the word "Hello" slowly.

I cursed: "Silly/forced."

After scolding, I hung up.

I said very seriously that before I married Yu Haiqiao, I was absolutely a little sweet, and even the cursing was so unqualified. After the marriage, I accused Yu Haiqiao that his grave changed me and let I changed from Fairy Zixia in Journey to the West to Erniang Sun, who sold human meat buns in the Water Margin.

When Yu Haiqiao heard what I said, he was shocked for ten seconds.

Yes, I checked it out at the time.

After he was shocked, he looked at me with an expression on my IQ as if I had been shocked: "Shi Ran, you misunderstand yourself too deeply."

Then he said: "You need to light your face."

**

I don't know why a person who has never been shameless asks others to behave, and I don't know who is shameless!